Not Your Average Talk Show
by Fireruby
Summary: You ever seen one of those wacky talk shows with a host and guest people; asking those questions you've been dying to know? This is one of them! INUYASHA, RIKKU, KURAMA, KENSHIN, TENCHI, RAVEN. Recognize one of those names? This is the fic for you. R&R!
1. Introduction

(A/N- Dun dun dun dun! It's time for the most exciting part of the fic! I'll give you 3 guesses what it is......  
  
Hmm... well, nevermind. It's the DISCLAIMER! Muwahahaha....  
  
I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or it's characters (namely Hiko). I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho or it's characters (meaning Kurama). The other games/shows/books and characters I do not and will never own are Artemis Fowl, Kingdom Hearts and Final Fantasy X. Thank you very much! Now it's time for the more dull part of the fic... I actually want you to read the story...  
  
PS. Our Mystery Guest will be making his/her appearance soon!)  
  
It was a rainy afternoon and Fireruby found herself sitting around the house, watching Rurouni Kenshin recordings. Again. Heavens above… did she NEVER get tired of this routine?  
  
She sighed to herself. Well… the rest of her family was out at some 5-year-old's party Sam had been invited to. She turned herself back over, trying to revert her attention back to the TV. Unfortunately, she rolled herself just a little farther then necessary, so she ended up falling off the couch. She groaned loudly as she stood back up, rubbing her sore back.   
  
It was then that she caught a glimpse of the dark gray Keyboard of Doom™ propped up against the wall next to her computer. Suddenly, the world seemed a whole lot brighter. ((For more information on the Keyboard of Doom™ please see my first fanfic, Karaoke Night.))   
  
"Of course!" She muttered to herself, walking over to the keyboard and picking it up. "Why should I waste a perfectly good afternoon here…" She sat herself down on the couch and set the keyboard down in her lap. "When I could be…" Her voice trailed off as a huge grin appeared on her face.  
  
Fireruby smiled deviously as she began typing random gibberish. After a few minutes of fierce concentration and fingers flying so fast they became blurs, the blonde teen sat back, apparently satisfied.  
  
And she just sat there.  
  
And nothing happened.  
  
Hmmm…  
  
And we wait…  
  
And we wait…  
  
And we're getting tired of waiting…  
  
"Oh, shush up Mr. Narrator. Give the Keyboard time to register…"  
  
Oh, fine.  
  
"Who are you, anyway?"  
  
I'm just a random voice. Well, a random male voice. You should know. I came out of YOUR imagination.  
  
"Ugh, fine. But you need a name… Hmm…… Let's see….. Your new name is Rocky."  
  
Rocky?  
  
"Yes."  
  
Why?  
  
Fireruby shrugged. "I like the name. T.T.F.N., Rocky."  
  
With that, she disappeared in a sudden flash of light.  
  
She reappeared on a plain white canvas, the Keyboard of Doom™ ducked under her arm. She looked around her and squealed in delight.  
  
"Yes! It worked!"  
  
Um, what worked?  
  
"Isn't it obvious? I'm in a new dimension that I can create and mold to my liking…"  
  
Clearly.  
  
"Maybe you should keep quite for a while, Rocky."  
  
Fine.  
  
Fireruby sat back down and typed a few more keys on the Keyboard. Her white background almost instantly changed to an endless field of grass.  
  
She clapped her hands together in delight.  
  
Cute.  
  
"I said shush it, Rocky!"  
  
She turned back to the Keyboard and typed in another sequence of key codes.  
  
With another flash of light (A/N- You're gonna be seeing a lot of those), a tall red-head appeared beside her.  
  
OMG… She didn't…  
  
She did…  
  
It's Kurama.  
  
Fireruby squealed in delight, jumped up and hugged Kurama.  
  
"Um… Where am I?"  
  
"Your in my new dimension! Oh, I'm so glad that worked! I'd hate to be stuck here… alone with Rocky…"  
  
That hurts.  
  
"HUSH UP, ROCKY!"  
  
Kurama looked at Fireruby with that adorable curious expression of his. She thought she might melt…  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
She grinned and stuck out her hand. "Fireruby. Nice to meet you!"  
  
Kurama shook her hand, still looking confused.  
  
She sighed. "Well, I guess I'd better bring you some friends… Ignorance loves company, after all…"  
  
I thought that was misery.   
  
"Must you keep interrupting me, Rocky?"  
  
She sat herself back down and began typing again, not really caring what Rocky's answer may be. After another moment of suspense, there was another flash of light. Lo and Behold, there was Rikku.  
  
I love Rikku!  
  
Fireruby smirked. "Well, you might actually have a chance with her, Rocky… considering she's the only single character in FFX."  
  
What about Kimahri… and Wakka… and Lulu... and Auron?  
  
"Kimahri gets married to some lady ronso. Auron dosn't really count... he's too old to be labeled "single". And as for Wakka and Lulu... they're in love. Can't you tell?"  
  
No…  
  
"Poor blind narrator…"  
  
She looked over at Rikku.  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"Hi" Rikku replied brightly. She looked around. "It's nice here… Where is here?"  
  
Fireruby sighed. "Why do you all keep asking that? If you must know, ask Kurama..."  
  
She sat back down and started typing again.  
  
Flash.  
  
Sora appeared.  
  
(A/N- Kingdom Hearts… I hope yall knew that…)  
  
Click. Click. Click.  
  
Flash.  
  
Holly's here.  
  
(A/N- From Artemis Fowl… Don't worry if you don't know her…)  
  
Click. Click. Click.  
  
Flash.  
  
Let there be Hiko.  
  
Fireruby sets the keyboard down and stands up.  
  
"Hello everyone! Before you ask, you're all trapped in my pleasant little dimension. You don't know each other because your all from different games, shows and books…"  
  
"Excuse me," Rikku interrupted, sounding pleasant as always. "But why are we here?"  
  
Fireruby grinned. "I'm gonna make you all stars."  
  
They already are.  
  
"SHUT UP, ROCKY!" 


	2. The First Show

"You're gonna make us all stars?" Sora repeated, looking thoroughly confused.  
  
"Yes! Well, actually… Rocky's right… you already are stars… But, you'll be brighter stars now, I guess…"  
  
Sora stared at her. "But… it doesn't matter how bright I am, my heart is all that matters, and my heart is strong… so I know I'll overcome the darkness. And as long as I can keep my light shining, it doesn't matter how bright it is!"  
  
Everyone stared at him.  
  
Hiko was about to gag. "If you ever say any of that again, I swear I'll Ryo Sou Sen you to an inch of your life."  
  
Sora sweatdropped.   
  
Fireruby decided to continue explaining her idea to them before Sora took out his keyblade.  
  
"Well, forget what I said about brightness… You guys ever seen one of those shows they do on TV where they have a host and guest people just sitting around and, um… talking? Well, I took a poll a few weeks ago to see who people would be most interested in hearing from and… the people I asked voted for you guys."  
  
This statement was greeted by a stunned silence. Holly was the only one who seemed to understand. She looked at Fireruby quizzically.  
  
"You mean, you want to put together one of those talk shows?"  
  
Kurama finally seemed to catch on as well. "But… who'd be interested in just hearing us talk about stuff…?"  
  
Fireruby smiled. "Yes, I'd like to put together one of those talk shows. And, well, while I guess none of you consider yourselves famous, you really are. I think you'd be surprised how many people want to hear what you have to say."  
  
No one responded. They just continued staring at her.  
  
"Alright… guess I should get started…"   
  
She sat back down in the warm grass and propped the Keyboard of Doom™ back up in her lap. While she typed, nearly everyone stared in awe of the keyboard.  
  
"What the heck is that?" Hiko asked. "That doesn't look like anything we have in Japan…"  
  
"It must be some sort of machina…" Rikku stated. "Gee… wonder what it does…"  
  
"What's a machina? That looks like some sort of gummi…" Sora muttered.  
  
"It's a keyboard." Holly and Kurama both stated matter-of-factly.   
  
They both turned to look at each other. Kurama offered his hand. Holly shook it.  
  
"I'm Kurama."  
  
"Captain Holly Short."  
  
"It's very nice to meet you…… Um… please, don't take this offensively, but I've never met anyone under two feet tall who wasn't a child. And I can tell that you're not a kid."  
  
Holly smiled warmly. "Thank-you. It's because I'm an elf. And a fairy. And a leprechaun… well, that's just a job…" She stopped herself when she saw how confused he was. She instead took out a small golden book and gave it to him. It was titled 'Artemis Fowl'. "Here, just read this when you have some spare time."  
  
He nodded silently and went back to watching Fireruby. She had finally finished whatever she was typing. She looked up at them all and grinned. A split second later, the endless grasslands completely disappeared, only to be replaced by a brightly lit studio with many different cameras pointed at a set of furniture set up on the stage, behind all of this was a huge sign saying "NYATS Live!". The word 'live' was made up entirely of little red lights that flashed on and off at regular intervals.   
  
Fireruby ran excitedly over to her stage and sat down in her little black Lay-Z-Boy. She glanced over at her studio audience and snorted. It was a little pathetic. There were only about two dozen people in the audience. 'Oh, well… she thought. Hopefully, that'll change soon enough.'  
  
I doubt that.  
  
"Shows what you know, Rocky…" She muttered. Fireruby then composed herself, sat up strait, smiled brightly and politely crossed her legs at the ankles. She turned her pearly blue gaze to the camera.  
  
"Hello, and welcome to the first ever edition of Nyats Live. Since this is such a special day, I've decided to have two guests with us instead of one. Please give a warm welcome to Captain Holly Short of the LEP and Sora, the wielder of the keyblade!"  
  
The 26 audience members present all clapped wildly.   
  
Holly and Sora both took their cues and walked respectively onto the stage, Sora waving to the camera as he went. They both sat down on the couch next to Fireruby's Lay-Z-Boy.  
  
Fireruby smiled brightly and turned to them.  
  
(A/N- From now on, I'm changing my writing format… for this fic anyway… please don't get mad. ^^;;)  
  
  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hello! I'm glad you could make it.  
  
  
  
Holly: o0;; Make it? But you forc-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.- Forget it. ^^ Well, anyway, lets get on with the show. Our fist question today is from SuperSam3. He wants to know what you both think of street doctors. You know… people who haven't finished their education but are practicing their doctrine anyway… Um, Holly, what's your opinion?  
  
  
  
Holly: Well, it's against your laws for doctors to practice without a license, right? I think that means they shouldn't. I'm not an expert on Mud Men laws, but isn't it a crime to disobey the law here too?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; Well, um, yes. It is. Uh, Sora, what do you have to say?  
  
  
  
Sora: ^.^ Well… If the doctor's hearts are telling them that they should treat people before they complete their schooling, then I think they should follow their hearts. Our minds are clouded and confused these days, but our hearts will always remain strong. We should always listen to them.  
  
  
  
Everyone: o0*  
  
  
  
Holly: -pulls out her buzz baton- Speaking of laws, you just violated one we have in Haven. Do not EVER use the word 'heart' that many times in one paragraph again. -she waves her baton around dangerously- Or else.  
  
  
  
Scary.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: oo; Heh… right… moving right along…  
  
  
  
She shuffles a pile of papers that suddenly appeared in her lap. She pulls a yellow note out of the stack.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Ah… yes… someone named Draikitha wrote to use… she says, "Why is it that Holly's books and Sora's game are so violent?"  
  
  
  
Holly: We are fighting for our lives. Of course it's violent. -mutters- You Mud Men are so dense…  
  
  
  
Sora: In my world we're fighting for our lives too, but it's more then that. We are saving people's hearts. Because when people have to go without their hearts, it's like going without their souls. Their hearts kinda make them who they are. No one deserves to go through life as a heartless. That's why we fight.  
  
  
  
Holly: Argh! What's with all this mushy talk?   
  
  
  
She pulls her buzz baton back out and zaps him with it. He slumps over, unconscious.   
  
  
  
Holly: ~.~ Well… I warned him… I suppose I'd better take him to Haven now. Bye everyone.  
  
  
  
Holly then slung him over her shoulder and clipped on a set of wings. She opened the throttle and zoomed out the open window.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: 00; Well… erm… okay. I suppose we can't continue the show without either of the guests present… um… stay turned tomorrow to see Kurama himself appear… well… er… till next time, then.  
  
  
  
The screen fades to black.  
  
  
  
(A/N- I'd like to apologize at this point. Sora's just a little OOC. He's kinda acting how I saw him when I played the game… totally mushy and always using the word heart 3 or more times in every scene… I guess I kinda vented my frustration at him here… Um, sorry to all you Sora fans out there… ^^ Please review.) 


	3. Kurama and the Sister

You see a plain black screen.  
  
  
  
Slowly, the black fades out to show a brightly lit studio. There's a strange blonde girl in a Lay-Z-Boy, sitting in front of the camera. She smiles brightly.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hello! And welcome back to NYATS Live! Today we have with us a gorgeous redheaded fox demon who's wanted by the Spirited World police and thousands of girls across America. Please put your hands together for… Kurama!!!  
  
  
  
The audience claps loudly. Today there are 42 people in the stands. Half of them are young and old ladies, screaming Kurama's name and holding up giant signs with his face on them.  
  
  
  
Kurama walks up onto the stage and sits down on the leather couch.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: I'm glad you could make it, Kurama. How are you doing tonight?   
  
  
  
Kurama: ^^ Thank-you. I'm doing just fine.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Glad to hear it. Do you have anything to say before I start asking the questions?  
  
  
  
Kurama: ^^ No, I don't think so…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Alright! Now… let's see… -she shuffles through her handy dandy stack of papers and pulls out a bright pink note- Ah, here it is. JenDen167 writes-  
  
  
  
Someone in the audience suddenly screams.  
  
  
  
"THAT'S MY LETTER!!!!"  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -hides her giggles behind an abrupt coughing fit-  
  
  
  
Kurama: -turns to see who it is-  
  
  
  
The woman standing up couldn't be younger then 80.  
  
  
  
Old Woman: That's my letter!!! Read it! Read it!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -desperately tries to contain herself- ^^; The… the letter reads, "Kurama, I love you sooooo much! But, why do you have to hang around with ugly shorties like Hiei? You deserve better friends! If you need any, I'll be your friend! Maybe more? Love, JenDen." XD Well… Kurama?  
  
  
  
Kurama: -.-; I don't think that's very funny, Fireruby.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: XD No… no… me neither. The… girl has every right to fall in with love you… please, answer… the… question.  
  
  
  
Kurama: .; -mutters- Hiei is a good person at heart, even if he likes to act otherwise. I don't need anymore friends… No offense.  
  
  
  
Old Woman: None taken, foxy!  
  
  
  
Fireruby finally loses it. She cracks up, falling out of her Lay-Z-Boy and rolling onto the floor.  
  
  
  
Kurama: -.-; Please, get up…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -still laughing hysterically- Can't… get… up… Think… I… cracked… a… rib… somewhere…  
  
  
  
Kurama: -.-; You didn't crack a rib… please, get up… I'd really like to get on with the show… and go back home…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Fine…  
  
  
  
She composes herself after a few minutes.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Soooo… Kurama, onto our next question…  
  
  
  
Kurama: ^^ Finally.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hmmm… -shuffles through her papers again- Oh, we have another one from SuperSam3. He writes… "Kurama. I've downloaded some pictures of you, and half of them involve you putting your arm around another guy. Never any girls. I guess what I'm wondering is… Are you gay?" -.- What a stupid question… Kurama?  
  
  
  
Kurama: 00; What?! I-I try and be a supportive person, and THIS IS THE THANKS I GET? Well, forget it… from now on I'm gonna be like Hiei. Cold and ruthless.   
  
  
  
Fireruby and half the audience: Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Old Woman: BUT WE LOVE YOU THE WAY YOU ARE!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Kurama: Really? You act that way, but I don't think you really feel it. No wonder people think I'm gay… no girls ever really 'go for me'… I've never even kissed someone before…  
  
  
  
Half the audience stands up.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, Melanie, Fireruby's short, freckle faced, brown haired sister runs in.  
  
  
  
Melanie: NOOOO!!!!  
  
  
  
The girl rushes over to Kurama, grabs his shirt and locks him in a deep kiss.  
  
  
  
Disappointed sighs are heard throughout the studio.  
  
  
  
Melanie: THERE! Happy?! Happy?!?! Now, don't go all evil… NO ONE LOVES HIEI!!!!!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Well, Hiei loves Hiei.  
  
  
  
Melanie: That is a good point, sister. -turns back to Kurama- Please!!! Say you won't go evil now!!!  
  
  
  
Kurama: @.@; O… kay…  
  
  
  
Melanie grins and runs back off the stage and out of the studio.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.- Well, I suppose Kurama's going to be in this intoxicated state for a few more hours. I will, of course, murder my sister for ruining this episode of NYATS. Please tune in tomorrow for an exclusive interview with Final Fantasy's Rikku. 'Till next time…  
  
  
  
The screen fades to black as Fireruby stands up and runs out of the studio after her sister.  
  
  
  
(A/N- Gomen nasi, all you Hiei fans out there. But... I really did get asked that by my friend Sam, so I thought it might be fun to put in the show... I had to put SOMETHING in to get all of Kurama's obsessed fans so upset, and that's the only thing that came to mind. GOMEN!) 


	4. Rikku and Her Admirers

Once again, you see a pitch-black screen.  
  
  
  
Gradually, the black fades out and you see a brightly lit studio. In front on the camera, is a black leather Lay-Z-Boy and matching couch. Sitting on the edge of the Lay-Z-Boy, and looking quite uncomfortable, is a teenage girl with copper colored skin, long shiny black hair, and golden brown eyes. She smiles nervously at the camera.  
  
  
  
Girl: Um… hiya. Welcome to NYATS Live. Um… my name's Akemi. Fireruby's been grounded for nearly killing her sister yesterday, so she's asked me to fill in for her tonight… So, uh… let's start the show…  
  
  
  
Nice idea.  
  
  
  
Akemi: ^^ Thank-you… uh, what's your name?  
  
  
  
Rocky.  
  
  
  
Akemi: Right-O. Thanks, Rocky.  
  
  
  
No problem.  
  
  
  
Akemi: So, anyway… please welcome today's guest… uh… -looks at a note written on the back of her hand- Oh… Rikku from Final Fantasy!   
  
  
  
Rikku happily walks onstage. She's wearing her usual orange tank top and short green shorts. Everyone in the audience applauds and some of the men let out whistles and catcalls. She grins and sits down on the little black couch.  
  
  
  
Akemi: 00 Wait… you're a girl? But… isn't Rikku a Japanese guy name?!  
  
  
  
Rikku: ^^; Um, well… Rikku's my name, and I'm a girl… so I guess it can be both…  
  
  
  
Akemi: oo; Right… Sorry… um, moving right along… -she fumbles around for a bit before pulling out Fireruby's infamous paper stack. She shuffles through it, muttering to herself- …how does she find ANYTHING in here…?!  
  
  
  
Rikku: o0 Um… do you need some help?  
  
  
  
Akemi: No… no…  
  
  
  
Finally, she pulls out a sheet of paper, letting out a small cry of triumph.  
  
  
  
Akemi: Okay… so… this letter is from 'Deansey003'. He writes, "Dear, Rikku. In the beginning of your game, Tidus has a dream with you and Yuna, fighting over him. I guess my question is, do you really like Tidus? And, would you fight your cousin for him?"  
  
  
  
Rikku: -turns a lovely shade of red before she starts yelling at the audience- Fryd piechacc ec dryd uv ouinc?! Vun ouin hucao, hu kuut ehvunsydeuh, Tidus pamuhkc du Yunie! Hud sa! E ytsed E tet nydran megat Detic frah E vencd sad res, yht E druikrd E sekrd ryja paah eh muja, pid Yunie vuiht res yht kud lmuca du res pavuna E tet. Cu, E ryja hu nekrd du lusbmyeh! ht... E fuimt HAJAN vekrd fedr Yunie. HAJAN.  
  
  
  
Akemi: 00; What… did she just say?  
  
  
  
She was talking in Al Bhed. Sometimes she does that when she's really emotional.  
  
  
  
Akemi: 00; Right… thanks, Rocky. Rikku… take a deep breath… calm down… now, what did you just say?  
  
  
  
Rikku: -calms down a bit- I said it was none of his business.  
  
  
  
Akemi: oo; Right… um… next question I guess… -she shuffles through the papers again- Uh… let's see here… oh, here's one… Aww… it's a love letter… from… Rocky?  
  
  
  
Shhhhh!  
  
  
  
Akemi: um… it's from an anonymous source. It reads… "Rikku, your hair reminds me of the bananas I so love to chop up and put in my cereal… your shirt is like the pumpkin pie I throw out at Halloween… your spirit is like that of my deceased puppy, Gypsy… And your eyes… your wondrous eyes… like that of the jewels on the Mummy's temple, I saw last week at the movies. I love everything about you, Rikku!" 0.0;  
  
  
  
Aww… that anonymous source is such a romantic…  
  
  
  
Audience: 0.0;  
  
  
  
Akemi: That… is sooo disturbing…  
  
  
  
Rikku: ^^ It was kinda sweet, though, wasn't it? I'm like his deceased puppy! He must miss her so much! I'm happy I can fill in that gap for him…  
  
  
  
Akemi: 0.0; Yes… I see… -she squirms nervously on the edge of the Lay-Z-Boy-  
  
  
  
Audience man: I disagree!!!  
  
  
  
Akemi+Rikku: What?  
  
  
  
Audience man: I disagree with the letter!  
  
  
  
Akemi: o.o Oh… how so?   
  
  
  
Audience man: Her hair is not like bananas! It looks more like yellow peppers!  
  
  
  
Rikku: ^^ Awww! Thank-you!  
  
  
  
Akemi: oo; Yes… right… I have to go now. I need to get back to Fireruby's house and ask her to explain to me what drugs you all must be taking… so, I guess this is the end of the show… tune in next time, when FIRERUBY will be back… -mutters- Thank God…. And -looks at the notes on her hand- Seijiro Hiko will be guest starring… till then…  
  
  
  
The screen fades to black as Akemi falls off the edge of the Lay-Z-Boy and finally lets out her suppressed cry of utter confusion. 


	5. Hiko the Great

As usual, you see a pitch-black screen. But your used to this by now, right?  
  
  
  
So you should already know that, next, the black gradually fades out to reveal a brightly lit studio, with the camera pointing at a black leather Lay-Z-Boy and matching couch.  
  
  
  
Sitting in the Lay-Z-Boy is your strange blonde host. Her light blue eyes seem to dance as she smiles at you.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hello, and welcome to another exciting edition of NYATS Live. As you may have noticed, I wasn't here last time. My friend Akemi was filling in for me… she was really freaked afterwards, though… does anyone know what happened to get her so upset?  
  
  
  
Audience: -shrugs-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Oh… well, anyway, let's start the show already. Today's special guest is the 13th master of the Hiten Miserugi Style, and sensei of the most charming rurouni in Japan. Please put your hands together for Seijiro Hiko!  
  
  
  
Everyone in the audience claps and cheers. A few fan girls in the front are screaming.  
  
  
  
Fan Girls: WE LOVE YOU, SIR HIKO!  
  
  
  
Hiko walks gallantly onto the stage and sits himself down on the couch. He flashes the fan girls a very charming smile. Half of them faint.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Welcome, Hiko. I'm very pleased to have you on the show! Though, I know I'm not the only one. You have quite a few fans in our audience.  
  
  
  
Hiko: -smirks- Yes, I've noticed.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Do you have anything to say to your fans before we start?  
  
  
  
Hiko: Yeah, actually.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: And what is it you'd like to say?  
  
  
  
Hiko: They are right to love me. I really am cool.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; Yes, of course. Moving right along… -she shuffles through her stack of papers- Akemi insisted on alphabetizing it… now I can't find ANYTING…  
  
  
  
Hiko: -.- Any day now…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Ah ha! -she pulls out a light green sheet of paper- Found it!  
  
  
  
Hiko: Good. Finally.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: This one is from AliKat87. She writes, "Hiko, I love you so much! Your so handsome, and strong… and I love the way you always jump in at the right time to save the day! The only thing that's bugging me is why you're always so down on Kenshin… he's really not such a bad guy… why all the insults?" Well, Hiko?  
  
  
  
Hiko: That's a dumb question. If I wasn't hard on my baka deshi, he never would have learned any self discipline, not to mention any sword skills. What kind of people are writing to this show, anyway?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; My friends, mostly. I haven't gotten any questions from my reviewers yet.  
  
  
  
Audience: Awww… how sad….  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.- Yes, it is. So… onto our next question… -pulls out a random sheet of paper- This one of from… uh, how do you pronounce that? -she holds the paper out in front of Hiko-  
  
  
  
Hiko: o0 I don't know.   
  
  
  
Fireruby: Um… -looks at it- Rocky, do you know how to pronounce this?  
  
  
  
Are you kidding? Of course not.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: oo; Okay… um… this next letter is from… an anonymous source… yeah, that's it! Okay, so the anonymous person says, "Hiko, why is it that you and Kenshin wear your hair out so long? Don't you know that short hair is the new fad? Just look at Sano!". -.- No wonder the name's so hard. I bet the person just made it up. I guess I would too. What a stupid thing to ask.  
  
  
  
Hiko: ~.~ Are they making fun of my hair?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: I guess you could put it that way. Um, if it helps… I like your hair…  
  
  
  
Fan Girls: So do we!!!  
  
  
  
  
  
Hiko: ~.~ No one makes fun of my hair… they will pay…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; Um, before you make them pay… can you finish the show?  
  
  
  
Hiko: -settles down- Okay. Fine.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Good. Now, let's see… -she shuffles through her papers again and pulls out a small note- This person doesn't have a question. Just a request. They'd like you to show off some of your sword skills for them…  
  
  
  
Hiko: ^^ Okay!! I'd be glad to do that. But… who will I demonstrate them on? -he looks around for a target on the stage, but only sees Fireruby. He points at her- You, maybe?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: 00 What? No, no, no… um… heh… would anyone in the audience like to be Hiko's target?  
  
  
  
No one in the audience raises their hands, but one of the fan girls speaks up.  
  
  
  
Fan Girl: Would it mean I'd get to touch him?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: o0 Um… well, he'd touch you.  
  
  
  
Fan Girl: Really?  
  
  
  
Fireruby nods weakly. The Fan Girl squeals in delight and runs up to the stage.   
  
  
  
Fan Girl: I'll do it! I'll be your "target", Hiko!  
  
  
  
Hiko smirks and raises his sword.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: 00; Um, I should probably go call an ambulance for this poor ignorant girl. I guess this is the end of the show. Tune in next time to hear from a special mystery guest! Till then…  
  
  
  
The screen fades back to black as Hiko shouts "Ryo Sou Sen" and rushes towards the fan girl. Fireruby frantically grabs her cell phone and dials 911.  
  
(A/N- Please review! I'd love to hear any guest requests and/or questions to ask them. Thanks. To Be continued.) 


	6. Our Mystery Telepath

You see a colorless, black screen.  
  
  
  
The black gradually fades out, to be replaced by a brightly lit studio. In front of the camera is a black Lay-Z-Boy and matching couch.   
  
  
  
You also see a blonde teenager, who, instead of sitting on her Lay-Z-Boy as she usually does, is knelt in front of the camera, nose pressed against the ground.  
  
  
  
You see another teen, with copper colored skin and long, shiny black hair, walk onto the screen.  
  
  
  
Akemi: o0; Uh… Fireruby… why are you… praying to the camera?  
  
  
  
Fireruby managed to mumble out a response through the carpet.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: I'm… not… praying to… the camera…  
  
  
  
Akemi: o0; Then, what ARE you doing?  
  
  
  
Fireruby lifted her head up a bit.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: I'm trying to apologize…  
  
  
  
Akemi: To who?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: To the one fan who's EVER given me any suggestions about characters to put on the show and questions to ask them…  
  
  
  
Akemi: o.o Why are you apologizing to them?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sighs- Because… the characters they suggested were GUNDUM characters…  
  
  
  
Akemi: oo; ….  
  
  
  
Fireruby: I've NEVER seen even ONE episode of Gundum Wing! -Cries- I finally get a nice fan who wants to give me advice on the show and… I-I can't use the suggestion she gave me!   
  
  
  
Akemi: -pats Fireruby on the back- There, there… it's okay… I'm sure she understands…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sniffs- Yeah… you're right.  
  
  
  
Akemi: By the way, Fire… um, I'm a little curious as to why your show's been so delayed lately.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Oh, that… well, I was a little busy with some lawsuits to do the show…  
  
  
  
Akemi: 00; Lawsuits?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; Yeah… funny thing… some of the fans from the last show were trying to sue NYATS… they were a little upset that I had let Hiko beat up that fan girl so bad…  
  
  
  
Akemi: Wow… so, who won the lawsuit, then?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ I did. The fan girl VOLUNTEERED to be beat up by Hiko.  
  
  
  
Akemi: o.o Oh… that's good, then…  
  
  
  
Fireruby grins, stands up, and sits down on her infamous Lay-Z-Boy. Akemi walks back offstage.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Well… hey, everybody, and welcome to another edition of NYATS Live. Before I start the show, I'd like to introduce a new, very important, member of the stage crew. You've met her before… it's my friend Akemi, and she's volunteering to be our Audio Mixer. -coughs- And to all you viewers out there unfamiliar with the term, it means she's in complete control of every sound you hear… my voice, guest's voices, any music she wants to play… We make a good team, that we do… pictures and sound…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from off camera- Thank-you!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Anyway, people… I should probably clear this up… I got some e-mails wondering "what was Akemi's problem" when Rikku was here… um… well, Akemi really doesn't play any of the Final Fantasy games, so I guess it was kinda stupid of me to ask her to sub for me then… but, even though she's a little out of her league with FFX characters, Akemi is just as anime obsessed as me when it comes to everything else… and, she's cool, so please be nice!  
  
  
  
The audience applauds for their new audio mixer.   
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Cool. Okay, so let's get back to the show… um… today's a little special… we're having a mystery guest appearance… aren't you excited?!  
  
  
  
Mystery music starts to play in the background.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: And our mystery guest is…….. Raven, from Teen Titans.  
  
  
  
The audience claps enthusiastically as the music fades and Raven walked onto the stage. She sits herself down on the black leather couch.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Hi, Raven. Welcome to the show. I've never had a titan on the air before. I thought this might be fun.  
  
  
  
Raven: -.- Thanks.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: So, Raven… do you have anything to say before I read you the questions?  
  
  
  
Raven: -.- Uh, no. Not really.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; Okay. So, uh… let's see… -shuffles through her stack of papers, eventually pulling out a bright yellow letter- okay, so here's one from Arinitha14… she says… "Raven, I watch your show a lot, and I can't help but notice you never seem happy… and you're really cold towards everyone else. Why?"  
  
  
  
Raven: -.-* Why? Do you really think I have a choice in the matter? My emotions are dangerous… I cannot let them loose, or I could be endangering the planet.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Yes… but, can't you at least smile or something?  
  
  
  
Raven: Smile?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Uh, yeah, like… a grin… without the teeth showing…  
  
  
  
Raven: -.- I know what a smile is.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: So, back to my original question then… why not smile?  
  
  
  
Raven: Well, uh…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: XD Would you smile for Beast Boy?  
  
  
  
Raven turns a violent shade of red and pulls up the hood of her cloak to hide it.  
  
  
  
Raven: Why would I smile for him?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Aww… did everyone in the audience see that? "Stony" Miss Raven was blushing.  
  
  
  
Audience: Aww… she loves him…  
  
  
  
Raven: ~.~* I do not…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^.^ Aww… now she's trying to hide it…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Next question, Fire. We're running out of time.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sighs- Alright… next question… -she shuffles through her papers and pulls out a small violet note- This one's from… Akemi? 0.0  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Yea, yea, keep reading.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; 'Kay. So, Akemi Yemetari writes, "Hey, Raven. You like Beast Boy, don't ya?". Oh my gosh, I love you Akemi. So, Raven… you gotta answer the question truthfully…  
  
  
  
Raven: 0.0 I do?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Yes. It's part of the contract you signed before you came on the show. My own idea… isn't it a great one?  
  
  
  
Raven: -.- It's terrific.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Thanks!  
  
  
  
Raven: That was sarcasm, actually…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Yeah, I know. Now, answer the question…  
  
  
  
A few dozen of the "NYATS Live" light bulbs suddenly explode.  
  
  
  
Raven: I… can't.  
  
  
  
Fireruby looks at the light bulbs and chuckles.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: You can't say, huh?  
  
  
  
Raven nods, looking a little relieved.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Okay! Did y'all hear that? She said yes!  
  
  
  
Audience: Awww!!!  
  
  
  
Raven: 0.0 I did not!!!  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Kawaii! Raven and BB FOREVER!  
  
  
  
Raven: But I didn't say…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Akemi's right! You two are so cute!  
  
  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Almost as cute as Kenshin and Kaoru!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -shrieks- ^^ What a great idea!!! We should have THEM on here tomorrow!  
  
  
  
Akemi: -shrieks as well, from offstage- You're a genius!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -looks back over at the camera- So… that's all for now, folks. Tune in next time, when we'll have Kenshin and Kaoru (the cutest couple in the history of anime) with us. -Looks at Akemi- Hey, Akemi, maybe we could get THEM to confess their love for each other too!!! -Turns back to the camera- Oh, yeah… uh, till next time!  
  
  
  
The screen fades to black as Akemi jumps back onstage and starts dancing around with Fireruby. 


	7. The Clueless Lovebirds

You see a colorless black screen, that slowly fades out to reveal a brightly lit studio… yadda, yadda, yadda, blah, blah, blah… you get the drill by now, right?  
  
  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ROCKY!! Just say the introduction!!  
  
  
  
Ugh, whatever.  
  
  
  
In front of the camera is a black leather Lay-Z-Boy, and a matching couch. Sitting in the Lay-Z-Boy is a blonde teen with scary blue eyes and a voice that could wake the dead-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ROCKY!!!  
  
  
  
Just trying to make it interesting.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: That's not interesting. It's mean…  
  
  
  
It's true.  
  
  
  
Fireruby rolls her eyes and turns back to the camera. She puts on a strained smile.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hey there, and welcome to another edition of NYATS Live. I'm your host, Fireruby. -she points off camera- Akemi, back there, is your audio mixer. And Rocky… he's your narrator. But he's being replaced soon.  
  
  
  
The audience claps warmly.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^.^ Okay. So… let's bring out our guest… sorry, I mean guests. The cutest couple on the face of the earth… Kenshin Himura and Kaoru Kamiya!  
  
  
  
The audience applauds loudly as the raven-haired girl and the redhead rurouni walk onto the stage.   
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Welcome to the show. The last RK character we had on here wasn't such a hit… hopefully, you two will do a bit better… and bring in some more reviews...   
  
  
  
Kenshin: Oro? Who was on here before us?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hiko.  
  
  
  
Kenshin: 00 Hiko? Did he say anything about me? He didn't tell you any nasty stories, did he?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Oh, I wish! That would've been great with the reviews…  
  
  
  
Kenshin&Kaoru: oo;  
  
  
  
Akemi: -squeals from offstage- You two are so cute when you both do that face! Do it again!  
  
  
  
Kenshin&Kaoru: 00;  
  
  
  
Akemi: -squeals again- Kawaii!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; Right… um, do you two have anything you want to say before I start asking the questions?  
  
  
  
Kaoru: Uh, no, not really…  
  
  
  
Kenshin: No. I don't think so…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: 'Kay! I'd like to ask the first question. It's for Kaoru.  
  
  
  
Kaoru: ^^ Okay!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Alrighty… Kaoru, I'd really like to know why we see you drinking sake every so often, when you KNOW you can't hold ANY of it in. For instance, do you remember that one time when Sano threw you guys a party? You had one friggin' cup of sake, and made a complete fool of yourself in front of Kenshin.  
  
  
  
Kenshin&Kaoru: -faces turn red from the memory-  
  
  
  
Kaoru: I-Um… B-But Megumi was antagonizing me! She was trying to get Kenshin drunk! What was I supposed to do?! It was either sit there and look like an idiot or start drinking and-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: look like an idiot. I see your logic…  
  
  
  
Kaoru: …  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Whatever. Next question. -Shuffles through her papers-  
  
  
  
Kaoru: -looks quite relieved-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -pulls out a piece of paper colored a beautiful shade of purple- Ah… this one's from Belle Beauty and -lets out a brief shriek of happiness- this is the first fan suggestion I've ever been able to use on the show! Isn't that totally awesome?!  
  
  
  
Guests & Audience: o.o*  
  
  
  
Akemi: Wahoo!! Go Fire and Belle!!  
  
  
  
Guests and Audience: 0.0*  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Anywhoo, her question is for Kenshin. She asks, "What did you think of Kaoru when you first met her?". Well, Kenshin?  
  
  
  
Kaoru: ^^ -anxiously awaits a sweet answer-  
  
  
  
Kenshin: o0; I… I, erm… the FIRST time I met her? You mean… when she was chasing me down the street, accusing me of murders?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ 'Course. And please answer truthfully. -Waves around his contract-  
  
  
  
Kenshin: Um… erm… I…  
  
  
  
Kaoru: -glares at him- Come on, Kenshin. Tell us all what you thought of me.  
  
  
  
Kenshin: ^^; Heh… well, I, um… My first impression of you, Kaoru-dono, was that you must have been a very brave woman for challenging the battousai like that… and with such determination in your eyes. It made me admire you very much, that it did.  
  
  
  
Kaoru & Audience: Awww…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -gasp- Kawaii… -faints-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sighs dreamily- That's so sweet… if it was me, I'd think she was psychotic or something… You're lucky to have such a romantic man, Kaoru.  
  
  
  
Kaoru: -blushes- He's not my man, Fireruby-san…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ -laughs- Okay… whatever you say… next question…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -wakes up from her faint-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -shuffles through the papers and pulls out a small letter- Oh, yeah… this is one from my little sister, Melan92. It's another one for Kenshin. It's a hypothetical question. "Hypothetically speaking, if one of your enemies kidnapped Kaoru, planted a bomb in Tokyo, and made you choose between her life or the rest of the people in Tokyo's, what would you choose?"  
  
  
  
Kenshin: Oro? A bomb couldn't kill everyone in Tokyo. The explosions aren't big enough for that.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: They've developed them a lot over the years, Kenshin. Trust me, nowadays, they make bombs that could blow up the entire world… Just Tokyo would be nothing for quite a few terrorists.  
  
  
  
Kenshin: Oh…  
  
  
  
Kaoru: -blushes deeper and looks down- Baka… well that's a dumb question… of course he'd choose the other people's lives… there're thousands of people in Tokyo… I'm not worth that loss…  
  
  
  
Kenshin is also a lovely shade of red and glancing down at his feet. When he finally answers, his voice is very quiet.  
  
  
  
Kenshin: I would choose…. -his voice gets softer and softer with every word-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -leans in to hear him- Awww…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -screaming from offstage- What'd he say?! What'd he say?!  
  
  
  
Kaoru: -looks up- Yeah… what'd he say?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -smacks him on the back- Go on, Ken-san. Tell her what ya said.  
  
  
  
Kenshin: -caught off guard by the abrupt smack- I'D CHOOSE KAORU!  
  
  
  
Kaoru: ^^ Really?  
  
  
  
Akemi: ^.^ AWWW!  
  
  
  
Kenshin: -nods- I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let you die, Kaoru-dono.  
  
  
  
Fireruby & Akemi: ^____^ Awww! KAWAII!  
  
  
  
Kaoru: -grins-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ We should probably end this now… and give these two lovebirds privacy while they confess their undying love for each other…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Of course, by privacy, she means in front of Fireruby, me, and my own personal video camera…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Of course… but, that IS the best we can do… and it's not as bad as live TV. So, anyway… I guess that's all for now. Tune in next time for a special appearance by one of the RK villains! Probably Soujiro… Maybe Kamatari… Whoever is it, the guest ideas will probably be inspired by Sweet Chaos. Also… any and all advice is welcome so PLEASE review. Thank-you, and… I'll see you soon!  
  
  
  
The screen fades back out to black. 


	8. Tenchi's Posse

It all starts with a pitch-black screen…  
  
  
  
As usual…  
  
  
  
The black fades itself out, only to be replaced by a 'brightly lit studio'. Don't you just love that phrase? I think I've used it to describe the studio in EVERY episode…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.- Honestly… No one cares, Rocky. Just finish the intro…  
  
  
  
Whatever. In front of the camera is black Lay-Z-Boy and a small, comfy-looking, matching couch. Sitting in the Lay-Z-Boy is a tanned girl with long blonde hair and creepy blue eyes…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: 0.0; Rocky! I thought you said you'd stop that!  
  
  
  
I just couldn't resist.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.-; Right… -turns back to face the camera- Hey people… Welcome to another edition of NYATS Live! Today our special guest appearance will be made by…  
  
  
  
Akemi: ^^ Kamatari, right? It's gotta be Kamatari!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; Heh… well…  
  
  
  
In the middle of the studio audience, a freckle-faced brunette stands up and starts shouting.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: o0; Why is she back…? Didn't I ban her from the studio after the Kurama mess…?!  
  
  
  
Melanie: -still shouting from the middle of the audience- It's Soujiro! Isn't it?! Please let it be Soujiro!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -shakes her head and looks apologetically at Akemi and Melanie- Sorry, guys… I didn't get nearly enough responses to do either of them…  
  
  
  
Akemi, Melanie & Studio audience: WHAT?!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: o.o Please don't get mad… it's just that, only ONE of my friends had a suggestion for that episode, and it wasn't a very good one. So… due to lack of peer support and reviews… I'm gonna have to postpone that Soujiro/Kamatari edition of the show…  
  
  
  
Akemi, Melanie & Studio audience: -groan- Aww…  
  
  
  
Akemi: Does that mean you're canceling today's episode?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Well, no. I managed to put together a substitution show for today's original episode….. I based it on some inspirations I got from an e-mail sent by Belle Beauty. ^^ That girl is such a great reviewer… You know, this is the second time I've been able to use one of her suggestions on the show? Is that not awesome? … I love fan response! And author response to fan response…  
  
  
  
Akemi: ^^; Heh… right, Fire. So, who's today's guest?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Oh, yeah! Today's gonna be awesome! We just won't be breaking our record guest number, by inviting more then 2 guests… Because not only are we inviting 3 people onto the show… WE'LL BE HAVING 6!!!  
  
  
  
Akemi, Melanie & Studio audience: 0_0 …There's 6?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: You bet! Please give a warm welcome to the cast of Tenchi Muyo. Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko, Washu, Sasami, and Mihoshi.  
  
  
  
The audience is too shocked to smile, let alone applaud. They continue to stare at Fireruby.  
  
  
  
Akemi, Melanie & Studio audience: 0.0 …THERE'S 6?!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sighs- Okay, forget the applause. Akemi?  
  
  
  
Akemi: -snaps out of her shock trance- What?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Cue the artificial applause.  
  
  
  
Akemi: 'Kay… -pushes a few buttons at her audio mixer-  
  
  
  
The room is filled with the sound of recorded clapping and cheering as Tenchi, Ayeka, Ryoko and Mihoshi all walk onto the stage. For some reason, Washu and Sasami are both unconscious. Mihoshi is carrying Washu, and Sasami is being carried by Tenchi. Ryoko and Ayeka keep shooting glares at each other.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: 00; What happened? Why are two of the guests asleep?!  
  
  
  
Tenchi: ^^; Well… Miss Ayeka and Miss Ryoko got into a fight backstage and…  
  
  
  
Ayeka: -glares at Ryoko- And that-… that CONVICT there knocked out my sister with her energy sword!  
  
  
  
Ryoko: -crosses her arms and glares at Ayeka- THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT! And… you're one to talk! Little Miss Perfect over there was the one who hit Washu with her energy beam!  
  
  
  
Ayeka: ~.~ Only because I missed you.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.-; So, basically, you both got into a cat fight and incapacitated two of my guest speakers.  
  
  
  
Ayeka & Ryoko: -glare at each other- Basically.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.-; Erm… well, fine. I suppose I can make due with the four of you…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- 'Course we can. And we can lay Washu and Sasami down on the cushions back here, till they wake up. Help me out, Fire.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Alright.  
  
  
  
Akemi walks onstage, and Fireruby stands up from her Lay-Z-Boy. Fireruby takes Sasami from Tenchi, Akemi takes Washu from Mihoshi, and they both walk offstage.  
  
  
  
A few moments later, Fireruby walks back onstage and sits back down in her Lay-Z-Boy. She motions for her guests to do the same.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Okay… Please have a seat, and we can get started…  
  
  
  
Tenchi: -glances at the small couch- There's only room for two, Miss Fireruby.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; Oh, sorry. I guess two of you will have to sit on the floor. Sorry…  
  
  
  
Ryoko: -grabs Tenchi's arm- Tenchi, why don't you and I sit on the couch together?  
  
  
  
Ayeka: o.o What? No! -Grabs onto Tenchi's other arm- Please, Lord Tenchi. Don't sit next to this dangerous criminal. I'll sit on the couch with you.  
  
  
  
Tenchi: -looks torn- Well, I, um…  
  
  
  
Mihoshi: -sits down on the couch- ^^ There. Now neither of you can sit on the couch.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: X) Nice resolution, Mihoshi-san.  
  
  
  
Mihoshi: ^^ Arigatou.  
  
  
  
Tenchi: -meekly raises his hand- I'll sit on the floor…  
  
  
  
Ryoko: -grins and sits down in front of the couch, pulling Tenchi down with her- Okay, we'll sit on the floor then.  
  
  
  
Ayeka: Get your filthy hands off Lord Tenchi! -She drops down to the floor next to Tenchi and tries to pull him away from Ryoko-  
  
  
  
Mihoshi: -stares for a moment, then cracks up-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -blows a whistle, making everyone freeze- Calm down, people! We still have a show to do, you know…  
  
  
  
Ryoko & Ayeka: -take their hands of Tenchi- Fine, fine…  
  
  
  
Tenchi: ^^ Thank-you, Miss Fireruby.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: You're welcome, Tenchi. Now… it's about time I started with the questions.  
  
  
  
Melanie and the studio audience finally snap out of their shocked trance. Melanie sits back down in her seat, and she and the rest of the audience clap and nod at Fireruby's suggestion.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Glad to know I have my audience back. Okay, so, I'd like to ask the first question… It's for Mihoshi.  
  
  
  
Mihoshi: ^^ Okay.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Well, actually, it's more of a suggestion then a question. You're a cop… Ryoko's an escaped convict… And you can't arrest her because your ship is crashed, right?  
  
  
  
Mihoshi: That's right.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: But… Ryoko has a ship, doesn't she?  
  
  
  
Mihoshi: Well, I- uh… I guess so.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.- So, my question is; why don't you just confiscate Ryoko's "vehicle" and take her back to the authorities in IT.  
  
  
  
Ryoko: -crosses her arms- Ryo-Ohki wouldn't transform for her…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Still, she could trick you into making Ryo-Ohki transform for her…  
  
  
  
Ryoko: -chuckles- Mihoshi? Trick me? Are you kidding?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Hmm… I guess that does sound a little far-fetched…  
  
  
  
Mihoshi: -crosses her arms- What's that supposed to mean?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Never mind… next question. -she shuffles through her stack of papers, and after a few moments, pulls out a beautifully colored, violet sheet of paper. It's identical to the one from the previous episode of NYATS- ^^ Okay, here's a question from Belle Beauty…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- You get a lot of response from her, don't you?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Yes. I wish all my reviewers had as much advice as her… If they did, we could probably host a dozen episodes of NYATS a day.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- No kidding?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Nope. Anywho, Belle Beauty's question is for you, Tenchi.  
  
  
  
Tenchi: ^^ Really? What is it?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -scans the letter- She'd like to know which one of the girls you like best?  
  
  
  
Tenchi: ^^; Heh… I don't know what you're talking about…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sets the letter down- The girls that are living with you… Out of the-- Are there 6 of them?  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Yep. I think so… Two cops, two princesses, a genius, and an escaped convict… It's a real sop…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Yep. Okay, out of the 6 of them, which one do you love?  
  
  
  
Tenchi: -face turns read and sweatdrops- 'Which one do I love?'  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Yes. That's the question. Now, what's your answer? -leans forward in her chair, anxious for the answer-  
  
  
  
Ryoko: -grabs Tenchi's arm again- Go on, Tenchi. Tell them all how much you love me!  
  
  
  
Ayeka: -outraged- A noble man like Lord Tenchi would never love a slime ball like you! And, get your hands off him!!  
  
  
  
Ryoko: -jumps up from the floor- How dare you? Come on, princess! -she forms her energy sword and drops into a fighting stance-  
  
  
  
Ayeka: -jumps up too and starts forming a ball of energy between the palms of your hands- I accept your challenge, Convict. I'll show you… for clinging to Lord Tenchi like that.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -completely ignoring the battle- So, go on, Tenchi. Which one do you like the best?  
  
  
  
Tenchi: -tears his eyes away from the ensuing battle and looks back at Fireruby, stuttering- Well, I- um…. I don't thi-…   
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- ^^; Heh… Fire, we're almost out of time. You gotta hurry up and end the show…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.- This stinks… Oh, well… I'll be sure to tell you all what Tenchi's answer was next time, when we'll probably have Inuyasha on the show. Or maybe we'll have the Soujiro/Kamatari edition… if I can ever get enough response for it… Well, anyway, I'll see ya then!  
  
  
  
The screen fades to black as Fireruby resumes prodding Tenchi for his answer and Ryoko & Ayeka charge at one another.  
  
  
  
(A/N- Please reveiw, guys. Please, please, please, please, please. And PLEASE feel free to give me any suggestions on what I may be doing wrong, or what I should ask my next guest, or who I should have next on the show... Actually, know what? Just about anything you post in the reveiw will be welcomed.) 


	9. Sou chan and Kamatari at last!

You start off seeing a plain black screen.  
  
  
  
A voice emits from somewhere in the midnight depths…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: DO IT RIGHT THIS TIME, ROCKY!  
  
  
  
Fine. The black slowly decreases until you're left staring at a brightly lit studio. On the back wall, there's a huge sign blinking the words "NYATS Live!". The set consists of a black leather Lay-Z-Boy and a matching two-seater couch. Seated on the Lay-Z-Boy is your ditzy, blonde host, Fireruby.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.-; For a joke to get old, Rocky, it has to be funny in the first place.  
  
  
  
Who said I was joking? I was being dead serious.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.-* You just wait till I get my hands on you… -turns to face the camera- ^^ Hey there, and welcome to another edition of NYATS Live.  
  
  
  
Audience: -claps and cheers-  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- ^^ So, Fire… who's today's guest? Inuyasha? Or are we finally gonna do Kamatari?  
  
  
  
Melanie: -from audience- AND SOUJIRO! DON'T FOGET SOUJIRO!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Well, you'll be pleased to know that I've finally gathered enough questions to host the Soujiro and Kamatari episode! So… please put your hands together for our guests!  
  
  
  
The audience claps and whoots as Soujiro and Kamatari walk onto the stage. Akemi and Melanie cheer extra loud. Soujiro and Kamatari both sit down on the couch.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hey guys. Welcome to the show.  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ Thank-you, Fireruby-san.  
  
  
  
Kamatari: Yeah… thanks.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: No problem. So… I guess we should go ahead and start with the questions. Do either of you have anything to say before we begin?  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ Nope.  
  
  
  
Kamatari: I do.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: What?  
  
  
  
Kamatari: ^^ I'd like to give a shout-out to Shishio-sama. Hey Shissy!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Um, okay. Let's start the questions then, alright?  
  
  
  
Kamatari&Soujiro: Alright.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -shuffles through her stack of papers- The first question is from Neko-Kitsune-gumi. It's for Soujiro. She asks, "Would you consider living at my house so I can worship you?" Heh… well, Soujiro?  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ I'll consider it…… hey, but then what who would keep Melanie-san company on Friday nights?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -glares at her sister in the audience- MELANIE, YOU PERV! Is that why you always disappear on Fridays?!  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ It's not at all what you think, Fireruby-san. Melanie-san just sits and talks to me. Sometimes she bows to me and begs me to teach her swordsmanship…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Oh… well, too bad for NKG, then, I suppose… Anyway, next question… this one's for Soujiro too.   
  
  
  
Kamatari: -.- Another one for him? What about me?!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Sorry, Kamatari-san. Anyway, this one's from Animelover. The question is, "If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?"  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ Well, if I could change anything about my life… it would be who my parents are… since my mom was a prostitute, and my dad was so cruel… I can't say I really like either of them… I'd really love to have a family who loves and cares for me…  
  
  
  
Everyone: ;_; -sympethetic-  
  
  
  
Akemi: You poor baby! That's so sad…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Awww…. You poor thing, Sou-chan… Can I call you Sou-chan?  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ Sure thing.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sniff- Alrighty, then. Next question. This one's for Soujiro too… Sorry, Kamtari.  
  
  
  
Kamatari: -sigh- It's all right. I'm getting used to it.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: So, the next series of questions are from Belle Beauty. The first one is; "Why are you always so… pleasant?"  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ Heh… well, since I was young, I've had a rather hard life. My mom was a prostitute; and when my dad found out he'd got her pregnant, he adopted me so as not to make a big scene… He already had a big family already, so I thought they were going to be good to me. But, instead, they overworked me and beat me constantly. I used to cry when I was mistreated… but that just aggravated them further, and it didn't make them stop… So, I learned to smile when times were hard, and I found that when I did, my relatives would just get fed up with hurting me and stop… So, now I always smile, despite my pain… And I don't stop.  
  
  
  
Everyone: ;__; -really sad and sympathetic now-  
  
  
  
Akemi: -sobs- Soujiro… you poor, poor little boy!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -pats him supportably on the back and sniffs- You gonna be alright, Sou-chan?  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ Sure. Are there any more questions for me?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sniffs again, loudly- Oh, yeah… the last question for you, Sou-chan is, "How old are you?"  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ Well, I'm 18.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: 00; No kidding?! When's your birthday?  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ Some time in September… the date is a secret, though.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: o.o Oh…  
  
  
  
Kamatari: -.- Didn't you get ANY questions for me?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Yes! The last question is for you, Kamatari-san!  
  
  
  
Kamatari: ^^ Really?! What is it?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: It's the last question for Belle Beauty. She wants to know why you look like a girl?  
  
  
  
Kamatari: Well, I wasn't really born looking like this. I dress up this way…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ I think we all know that, Kamatari-san. I believe what she's asking is why…  
  
  
  
Kamatari: Oh, well, two reasons. The first is for battle advantages. If my opponent thinks I'm a woman, they'll probably end up attacking different vital areas.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: o.o 'vital…'…  
  
  
  
Audience: ….  
  
  
  
Akemi: -.-; Ew.  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^ What's the second reason?  
  
  
  
Kamatari: For Shishio-sama, of course! I figure he'll like me better if I dress up pretty… He likes pretty people, you know. That's why he's hanging out with that slu- …Erm, that woman, Yumi.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hmm… makes sense to me, I guess.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -nods- I guess…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: I like your fighting style, by the way. I know it wasn't enough to beat Misao and Kaoru, but it was still totally awesome. You should see yourself on the TV screen! You were tight!  
  
  
  
Kamatari: Thanks… 'tight'?  
  
  
  
Akemi: -.-; It's one of her lame slang words. Tight means totally cool. Roughly translated.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Akemi! Don't make fun of my uber cool slang words!  
  
  
  
Akemi: -.-; There it is again. Fire, NO ONE says 'uber' or 'tight' anymore…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -crosses her arms- Whatever, Akemi.  
  
  
  
Kamatari: oo;  
  
  
  
  
  
Soujiro: ^^;  
  
  
  
Audience: oo;  
  
  
  
Maybe you should go ahead and end the show…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -uncrosses her arms- Right. That's all for now, folks. Tune in next time for the one and only half demon hottie himself, Inuyasha. See ya then…  
  
  
  
The screen fades back to black as Akemi walks onstage, with a dictionary in her hand; apparently set to prove to Fireruby that her slang phrases are not actual words. 


	10. Inuyasha & the Magic Shoe

You turn on the TV and are greeted by a pitch black screen. Within a few seconds, it disappears, and is replaced by color bars.  
  
  
  
TV: -beep- We are having technical difficulties. Please stand by.  
  
  
  
BelleBeauty: What the heck?!  
  
  
  
Neko-Kitsune: -bangs on TV- Come on!  
  
  
  
The color bars disappear. You see the usual image of the well-lit NYATS studio. But without two very important factors.  
  
  
  
One; your blue-eyed host is nowhere to be seen. Two; the cushions are falling off the small leather couch and the Lay-Z-Boy is completely tipped over.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, you see Akemi run past the camera. She looks freaked.  
  
  
  
What the heck is going on?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: MIND YOUR OWN BUISNESS ROCKY!  
  
  
  
You hear the crazed blonde's scream a few seconds before she runs on screen. She's carrying a very heavy looking dictionary over her head and looks quite dangerous.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: COME BACK HERE, AKEMI! You can yell at me for using 'uber' and 'tight' all you want, and you can even get onto me for calling you 'sista' but don't you EVER take the word 'coolio' in vain. EVER!  
  
  
  
She turns back towards the camera, just seeming to notice it.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.-; Why the heck is this thing on?  
  
  
  
You see her reach back behind the camera and then the screen disappears once more. You see the color bars again.  
  
  
  
BelleBeauty: -tries her luck at banging on the TV- Goodness! What's going wrong with that show now?!  
  
  
  
Neko-Kitsune: -shakes her head sadly-  
  
  
  
BelleBeauty: Maybe we should find a different channel?  
  
  
  
Neko-Kitsune: Nah… let's give her a few more minutes.  
  
  
  
20 minutes later…  
  
  
  
BelleBeauty: -still staring at the color bars- Think we gave her long enough?  
  
  
  
Neko-Kitsune: -has fallen asleep on sofa- ZzzZzzZzz…  
  
  
  
BelleBeauty: -.-; Forget it… -gets up to change the channel and trips over Neko's shoe- Ugh… stupid shoe… -she picks it up and glares at it, then turns and glares at the TV- Stupid unreliable show… -she chucks the shoe at the TV and, almost as if by magic, the color bars disappear and you see the NYATS studio once more-  
  
  
  
Neko-Kitsune: -instantly wakes up- Oh my gosh! How'd you do that?!  
  
  
  
BelleBeauty: 0_0 I… I don't know… I just threw the shoe… -she hurriedly crawls over to the thrown shoe and hugs it close to her- THANK YOU, OH, GREAT AND MAGICAL SHOE!  
  
  
  
Neko-Kitsune: o0; Uh… Belle?  
  
  
  
BelleBeauty: -drops the shoe- ^^; Sorry…  
  
  
  
They both turn back to the TV and watch the show.  
  
  
  
Fireruby is back and sitting in her Lay-Z-Boy, which is now upright and in it's proper place. All the cushions are back on the small couch, and everything looks pretty normal.  
  
  
  
You notice the dictionary Fireruby was waving around earlier is now discarded on the floor next to her Lay-Z-Boy. There's a curiously large hole in the center of it. You wonder…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Hello. Welcome to another interesting edition of NYATS Live. I'm sorry the show's starting off a little late today… We were having a few… eh, technical difficulties.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage; scared shitless- Yeah… technical… stuff and… whatnot…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Anyway, please welcome today's guest, Inuyasha!  
  
  
  
Audience: -saw exactly what happened to Akemi and also scared out of their minds- 0_0 …  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -still a little ticked- I said WELCOME today's guest!  
  
  
  
Audience: -starts clapping with WAY too much enthusiasm-  
  
  
  
Inuyasha, who also saw what happened to Akemi, walks onstage. He sits down on the couch, nervously glancing at the 'broken' dictionary on the ground.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ Welcome to the show, Inuyasha.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: … Thank-you, Fireruby….  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Shall we start with the questions, or do you have something to say first?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: o0 Yes.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Really? What is it?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: What the hell did that poor girl do to deserve punishment like that?!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Don't say 'hell'. And who are you talking about? What poor girl?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: -points offstage at Akemi-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.- Oh, you mean her. She deserved it.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Oookay…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Can we start with the questions now?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Uh, sure.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ 'Kay. The first one's from Neko-Kitsune-Gumi. She writes, "Why do your clothes change from pink to red? In the manga it's pink and in the anime it's red.. Whassup with that?"  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: What's a magna?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: A comic book.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Really? Maybe it was just a bad printing job or something. I know for a fact that I would never wear pink. And if anyone dares draw me in a pink outfit again, I will personally see them to their deaths!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: You're really passionate about this, aren't you?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: -.- Pink is NOT a manly OR demonic color.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hey! Kenshin wears pink!  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Kenshin?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Yeah… rurouni Kenshin… the wandering samurai…  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: That redhead on your show a few days ago?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: That's the one!  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Oh… I thought that was a girl…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ~.~" Kenshin. Does. Not. Look. Like. A. Girl.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: o0  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -takes slow, deep breaths- Ooookay… let's get off this subject. Onto the next question, then?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: 0.o Sure.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Okay. The next few questions are from Belle Beauty. 1) What will you do when you find all the pieces of crystal?  
  
  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: When we find all the crystal shards? Boy, won't that be the day! They'll be so much we can do! First we can put a stop to Nuraku and all his stupid minions… then maybe I can take on my brother… and then I could go out and knock down mountains JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT… then I-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^; I think we get the point… Wow, those crystals must be pretty powerful.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: -nods- Yeah.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Question number two is: Do you love Kikyou or Kagome more?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: 00 Huh?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Oookay… I'll put it this way. If I had was to kill one of them, which would you rather live?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: -a little smugly- You couldn't kill either of them, Fireruby. They would kill you first.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Heh… guess you're right… um, put it this way, then… if YOU had to kill one of them, which one would it be?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: -.-; I probably couldn't kill one of them either… Kikyo would shoot me before I could get close enough for a good swing, and Kagome would probably command me to sit, then shoot me in the back…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^ That would be hilarious.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: -.-; For you, maybe.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sigh- Well, whatever. Since I can't get an answer out of you for this question, I'll just move onto the next one… Question 3) If you're half dog then why do you have ears that look like a cat's?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: 00; Dog?! Who the hell told you that? I'm not half dog! I'm half demon!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Don't say 'hell'. And you gotta admit, you do look a little like a dog sometimes. You scratch yourself with your feet, for goodness sake.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah, whatever.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: So, what's up the cat ears then?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Uh, I dunno… Maybe they're supposed to be my artist's idea of short dog ears?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Maybe. That's a pretty good guess.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Er, thanks.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -shuffles through her papers- I guess that's all the questions…  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: -.-; Can I go, then?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: No.  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: WHY NOT?!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Because we still have some time left on the show…. Do you have anything you could do to entertain us while we wait?  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: -.- No.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Oh…  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: Maybe you could show your viewers what you did to your Audio Mixer back there. I'm sure they're curious to know.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Well, alright… since we have time… Akemi, put in the video.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage; still freaked- Yes ma'am… -pops in tap-  
  
  
  
The live studio disappears. You see a cheap recording of what happened before the show. Fireruby is still chasing Akemi with the giant dictionary.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Come BACK here you literate freak!  
  
  
  
Akemi: -runs faster- LEAVE ME ALONE, FIRE! You KNOW I'm right!   
  
  
  
Fireruby: -runs faster as well- You are SO not right! Coolio is a word! Whether you acknowledge it as one or not!  
  
  
  
Akemi: -trips over a camera cable and falls face first into the carpeted floor- Noooo!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -stands over Akemi with an evil smile on her face- Oh, yes! You will pay for insulting the international language of coolness! -raises the dictionary higher over her head and starts to bring it back down-  
  
  
  
Akemi: -flinches- Don't do it!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: You asked for it! -She flips the dictionary open the the 'D' section and quickly finds the word she's looking for- There! -She holds the open dictionary in front of Akemi and points out the word- See?! 'Dude' IS a word! It's even in your precious little dictionary!  
  
  
  
Akemi: -reads the definition before covering her eyes with her hands- No! It burns! It burns!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -laughing triumphantly- I TOLD YOU!  
  
  
  
Akemi: Noooo! -she frantically reaches out to grab the dictionary, and instead ends up punching a hole through the center of it-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Ahhhh! You dork! You just ruined my dictionary!  
  
  
  
Akemi: -covers her head with her arms- Don't hurt me!!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -suddenly notices the clock on the wall- Oh my gosh! The show should've started half an hour ago!  
  
  
  
She hurries back over to the stage as the screen goes back to color bars.  
  
  
  
The color bars dissolve away, and once again you see the live NYATS studio.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.- Happy now?  
  
  
  
Everyone: 0_0  
  
  
  
Inuyasha: …. Yes…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Good. That's all for now folks. I gotta go patch things up with Akemi, and find a new dictionary. Tune in next time to see some more Yu Yu Hakusho characters on here… I haven't decided which ones yet… maybe you should vote on the review board? Which reminds me… REVIEW!!! Till next time…  
  
  
  
The screen fades to black as Fireruby casually walks offstage, kicking the dictionary along in front of her. 


	11. Jin the Wind Master

Your screen is pitch black.  
  
  
  
Suddenly, a strong wind swoops by, blowing the darkness away.  
  
  
  
You now see the familiar NYATS studio. Your startled host is not only sitting in her Lay-Z-Boy, but clinging onto it for dear life.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: JINNNN!!!! CUT IT OUT!!!  
  
  
  
The wind suddenly dies down.  
  
  
  
Guy with dreamy Irish accent: -from offstage- Sorry!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -turns to face the camera- Oh… uh, hi. Welcome back to NYATS.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Ye-eah! Welcome back, mah homies!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.-* As you can probably see… or hear… Akemi has gotten over her fear/hatred of slang.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Ye-eah!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: o0; Eehh… maybe we should bring out today's guest…  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage- Ye-eah!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Alrighty then… Please put your hands together for today's special guest… Jin, the Wind!  
  
  
  
(A/N- Eck! They call him that, right? I totally forgot… so correct me if I'm wrong.)  
  
  
  
Jin: -walks onstage, waving to the audience and creating a gentle breeze through the studio-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hi, Jin. Welcome to the show.  
  
  
  
Jin: -in dreamy Irish accent- Thank you, Fireruby. It's great to be here. -sits down on couch-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -swoons- Your voice… oh… can you say something again?  
  
  
  
Jin: -in accent- What're you talking about?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -continues to swoon- Do all Irishmen sound that dreamy?  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage; drops the street talk- No. My dad's Irish. Does he sound dreamy to you?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -snaps out of swooning trance- Eck! No!  
  
  
  
Jin: o0;  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Anyway… maybe we should get on with the questions?  
  
  
  
Jin: -nods-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Okay. Let me start off by saying that all of the following questions were made up by my sister and me last night… Why? Because our current amount of fan response SUCKS.  
  
  
  
Jin & Audience: 0_0;  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage; nods- Yes… yes it does.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: For the last episode of NYATS: a total of 3 people reviewed, only 1 person had a suggestion for the show and NOT ONE OF YOU HAD ANY QUESTIONS.  
  
  
  
Jin & Audience: -shrink in their seats-  
  
  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -sigh- But… that's all right. We can make due with next to nothing fan response.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -from offstage; nods again- Even if it is a lot harder.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: So… the first question is; How'd you get your wind powers?  
  
  
  
Jin: -dreamy accent- Well… the same way that that Yusuke bloke got his spirit powers… I trained.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: I guess that makes sense. If Yusuke can fire a laser beam outta his finger, I suppose it makes sense for you to be able to control the wind.  
  
  
  
Jin: -accent- Right.  
  
  
  
(A/N- *shakes head sadly* I'm not gonna even pretend to think that I can mimic the way he speaks… bear with it…)  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Well, question number two is; Is there really a such thing as an Irish demon, or do you just put on that accent for the chicks?  
  
  
  
Jin: Yes and no. Demons are formed in Spirit World… there, we have a place comparable to this "Ireland"… so, I guess there is such a thing. And, no. I do not put on an accent to impress you human girls.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Really? My sister was convinced that you did.  
  
  
  
Jin: I don't.  
  
  
  
Akemi: Oh…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^_^ Okay. Question # 3: What do you think of Yusuke/Jin YAOI fics?  
  
  
  
Jin: … what is this "YAOI"?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -face reddens- Well… it's… erm… -hands him a sheet of paper- Here. There's an example of Yusuke/Jin YAOI.  
  
  
  
Jin: -reads the paper-  
  
  
  
Fireruby & Akemi: -brace themselves- ((have read the paper))  
  
  
  
Jin: -a strong wind suddenly surrounds the stage- WHAT THE &#$^-- huh? &#&^? &#&^, &#&^, &#&^… Why am I being blipped?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: After I had Inuyasha on the show, I decided that we needed to have a language sensor, if I was gonna keep the fic rated PG.  
  
  
  
Jin: Oh… -remembers paper- WHAT THE &#&^ IS THIS?! Do people actually think me OR the grease-haired kid would DO something like THIS?!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -shrinks in chair- Well… I don't…  
  
  
  
Jin: -crumples up paper- That's disgusting.  
  
  
  
Fireruby & Akemi: -both nod- People with too much time on their hands.  
  
  
  
Audience: oo;  
  
  
  
Random Audience Member: Check it out… the two freaks are talking together now, too.  
  
  
  
Random Audience Member #2: -nods sadly-  
  
  
  
Jin: -tosses paper away- Anymore questions?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -nods- One more: Would you consider dating Kagura?  
  
  
  
Jin: ?_? Kagura?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: A wind sorceress from Inuyasha.  
  
  
  
Jin: Is she a human?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: No. She's an incarnation of an evil demon.  
  
  
  
Jin: Oh. Then, I might consider dating her.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: No kidding?  
  
  
  
Akemi: -swoons- If I had wind powers, would you consider dating me?  
  
  
  
Jin: Heh… sorry. I don't date humans.  
  
  
  
Akemi: Ah… poo  
  
  
  
Fireruby: poo?  
  
  
  
Akemi: Would you rather me use some ridiculous slang word? -starts street talk again- Sure thing, mah homie.  
  
  
  
Jin: -.- Doesn't that tire you out?  
  
  
  
Akemi: Ye-eah!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -snaps at her- Would you stop that?!  
  
  
  
Akemi: oo* I thought you wanted me to talk like that.  
  
  
  
Fireruby: NO! I want you to talk like yourself! And I want you to let ME talk like myself! Is that so bad?!  
  
  
  
Audience: -shakes heads-  
  
  
  
Akemi: ^_^ You like the way I normally talk?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: …yes.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -runs onstage and hugs Fireruby-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^^;;  
  
  
  
Jin: -.-; Are you two…?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -.-; Friends? Yes.  
  
  
  
Akemi: -.-" Jin, I think your mind has been infected by the YAOI fic.  
  
  
  
Jin: 00; You think so? -hits himself on his adorable red haired head-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -swoons- Heaven help meh… you're so cute when you do that…  
  
  
  
Akemi: Here… I'll help you pound the YAOI outta your head. -tackles Jin-  
  
  
  
Jin: -being pounded by Akemi- 00* Itaii…  
  
  
  
Fireruby: JIN! -jumps in to save him-  
  
  
  
::45 minutes later::  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Fireruby: -scratched up and smiling-  
  
  
  
Akemi: -scratched, bruised and smiling-  
  
  
  
Jin: -scratched up, bruised, bloody nosed and holding his head-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Well, the YAOI is officially gone…  
  
  
  
Audience: -cheers-  
  
  
  
Fireruby: And… we're outta airtime. Tune in next time for… erm…  
  
  
  
Akemi: One of your fans asked for more FF characters… Maybe you should do another one from FFX?  
  
  
  
Fireruby: Hmm… okay. Tune in next time to see our special guest, Yuna; Braska's famous daughter, and summoner of Spira. And maybe we'll get Tidus; her boyfriend, on here too… PLEASE review. I really do need some questions for these guys.  
  
  
  
Jin: -chibi; holding his throbbing head- End the show!  
  
  
  
Fireruby: ^_^; 'Kay. Till next time.  
  
  
  
The screen fades to black as Fireruby runs off to fetch Jin an icepack. 


	12. Yuna and Tidus

You start off staring at a plain black screen, but by this you're not surprised in the least. After all, you're getting used to it.

Your not exactly shocked when the black gradually fades out, revealing the same ol' NYATS studio you've seen in every episode of this show. Your energetic host is sitting down in her black leather Lay-Z-Boy, and smiling brightly.

So what else is new?

Fireruby: Wow… cheery, aren't we?

Why should I be? You were gone for a _freaking month_ and you still haven't changed anything on this wanna be show…

Fireruby: … well, that's a little harsh…

And true.

Fireruby: ….. –sigh- …… And true. I'm so sorry, minna-san!!!! I've been DROWNING in homework and chores and… things.

Akemi: -from offstage; laughs- No more then anyone else, though. You're just lazy.

Fireruby: I guess so… I'm sorry.

Akemi: Don't apologize. Just get on with the show already!

Fireruby: -sigh- Right. So… today's guests are Yuna and Tidus from Final Fantasy X!

From somewhere offstage, Yuna and Tidus walk on camera together. They both wave to the audience before sitting down on the small couch next to Fireruby.

Fireruby: Know what? Why don't we start off by having you two introduce yourselves?

Yuna: … alright…

Tidus: -shrugs- Er… oookay.

Yuna: My name is Yuna, daughter of Braska, and summoner of Spira.

Fireruby: Oh! That's not what I meant! We already know that. I mean… don't tell us who you are… just tell us some things about you… make sense?

Yuna: -nods- Okay… well… I like to laugh. And to dance. And in my opinion, being a summoner is a very sad duty, and it takes a strong person to do it… I'm not sure I would have made it through if it weren't for the help of my friends. They are my strength.

Fireruby: ^^ That's sweet. Tidus?

Tidus: I'm Tidus. I'm the son of the famous Jecht, and star player of the Zanarkand Abes.

Fireruby: Th-

Tidus: I love to play blitzball. I think it's the best sport on the planet! And you never play just to see how good you can do. You'll never get anywhere that way. You play to win! I think that motto applies to life as well. You go through it with goals, and try your best to reach them.

Fireruby: … that makes sense…

Akemi: -offstage- ^^ Tidus… you… are… so… hot.

Fireruby: 00;; _Shh_! Akemi! Him and Yuna are-

Yuna: -eyes narrow-  -.-* Excuse me? He's what?

Fireruby: 00;; DO NOT ANSWER THAT!!

Akemi: -ignores her- He's hot. H-O-T. What kinda place do you come from, anyway? It's not a hard word…

Fireruby: -winces-

Tidus: -pales- Yuna…..

Yuna: -jumps up off the couch, face red in anger- Are you insulting me? I'm a summoner! Don't you have ears?!

Akemi: -shrugs indifferently- So… what's a summoner anyway? It can't be all that scary. You look like any other pop princess I've ever seen. You should consider going into the music industry…

Fireruby: -flinches- A summoner… is a person… that can call aeons -monster type things- down from the sky.

Akemi: -eyes widen- …huh…?

Fireruby: -sighs- That's right… please apologize. I don't need bahamut trouncing around here and ruining my studio because you wanted to flirt with a summoner's man.

Tidus: -shrinks down in his seat-

Akemi: -shrugs- Well… I didn't know… besides, I don't think she can call out her monster things in your dimension. So, then what's she gonna do? Twack me with her staff?

Yuna: .*

Tidus: -braces himself-

Fireruby: -gulps and stands up before Yuna can blow her top- If you won't apologize, at least calm down, you two. I don't need another fight on the show… And I have some questions I need to ask.

Yuna: -sighs and sits back down- … alright…

Fireruby: -grins and sits back down as well-

Akemi: -looks and Fireruby- And the questions are…?

Fireruby: Well, the first one today is from Lady Zhanael Daiche… wow, that's a long name. Kinda a tounge twister.

Tidus: I've heard worse…

Fireruby: -forgets about the question- Really? Like what?

Tidus: Well… there were some temples in Spira I couldn't pronounce. Like Macarana…

Yuna: You mean Macalania?

Tidus: Er… right. And some of Yuna's aeons have hard names too. What kind of name is Yojimbo?

Fireruby: You have a point… how's that pronounced anyway?

Yuna: Yo-ji—

Akemi: -from offstage- You guys are getting _way_ off topic. Shouldn't you have at least asked _one_ question by now, Fire?

Fireruby: -pales- You're right! Okay, the first question was for Yuna. "Which one of your aeons is your favorite?"

Yuna: Er… my favorite?

Tidus: Can I say _my _favorite?

Fireruby: Er… sure. I don't suppose it'll do any harm.

Tidus: ^_^ My favorite aeon is Bahamut! He's totally cool and strong and buff and stuff… Anima is stronger then him, but since she's Seymour's mom and all… I kinda feel weird that Yuna summons her at all, in the first place… she just kinda creeps me out.

Yuna: -still thinking-

Fireruby: Really? My favorite aeon is Shiva, I guess. ^__^ She looks like one of my friends. And, even though she's not really the strongest, she's awesome!

Yuna: -still thinking-

Tidus: … Yuna?

Yuna: I know! …Okay, I figured out who my favorite is.

Fireruby: ^^; Okay. And who would that be?

Yuna: My favorite aeon is Valefor. Valefor was my first aeon, and I feel like I have a… special bond with it.

Fireruby: ^__^ And his second overdrive attack WHIPS BUTT!

Yuna: … I guess.

Tidus: -laughs-

Fireruby: The next question is from my friend, Alikat. She's curious about your dream at the beginning of the game, Tidus.

Tidus: …. What dream?

Fireruby: You had a dream of Yuna and Rikku fighting over you, that ended up in your telling off your dad. A rather strange dream, I must say. Ali'd like to know why Rikku was in your dream.

Tidus: Oh, I remember that dream!

Yuna: -turns to look at him- Oh, really? You were dreaming of my cousin?

Tidus: -stutters- Well… a-and you…

Yuna: -crosses her arms- Even worse.

Tidus: Hey! That was right after I met BOTH of you! It's not like I knew you either of you well enough to choose a favorite!

Fireruby: -chuckles- True enough. Who's your favorite now?

Tidus: Yuna, of course! Did you see me kissing _Rikku_?

Fireruby: -shrugs- I kinda thought that you and Rikku would make a cute couple. You're so much alike… you really have to see the two of you together to believe it.

Akemi: -from offstage- I remember meeting Rikku… she is a little like him…

Fireruby: They're really cute when they're _together_, though.

Yuna: -glares at her-

Fireruby: -chuckles nervously- Of course, you and Tidus are _way_ cuter.

Yuna: -smiles happily-

Tidus: Don't you have any more questions for us?

Fireruby: Nope. But, I guess I deserved the minimal fan response… since I've been neglecting the show for about a month now…

Tidus: Oh…

Akemi: So, what're we supposed to do now? We still have a few minutes left…

Fireruby: -shrugs- I dunno. 

Tidus: What you need is some audience participation. Back in Zanarkand, every good show or concert has that…

Audience: -claps agreeably-

Fireruby: I guess…

Akemi: … 2 minutes left…

Fireruby: -sigh- We don't have time, I suppose… Maybe next episode we'll throw in some audience participation…

Yuna: -cocks her head- We don't have to come back for the next episode too, do we?

Fireruby: _No_! Er, I mean… no, next time I'm inviting Haku, from Spirited Away. Kudos to Lady Zhanael Daiche for the suggestion. ^^ So, good bye for now, everyone! Tune in next time, and please send in your suggestions!!

The screen fades back to black as Yuna stands up and walks offstage, to finish her "discussion" with Akemi.


	13. Kohaku the River Spirit

After turning on your TV/computer screen, you're instantly greeted by a colorless black screen. In a few seconds the black fades out, and in its place is an extra bright NYATS studio. But, today, instead of the giant flashing "NYATS" sign, there's a huge banner reading "Happy Belated Thanksgiving!"

In her usual black Lay-Z-Boy sits Fireruby, who's smiling cheerily at you.

Fireruby: Happy Turkey Day, everyone!!! I know it's a little late, but I wanted to make sure to send you all some nice greetings for the holiday.

Akemi: -sitting on the edge of the stage; throwing turkey shaped confetti- Yep!

Fireruby: -grins- Annnyway……. Today, for our special Thanksgiving edition of NYATS is… Haku, the spirit of the Kohaku river! 

Silence. No movement.

Fireruby: -laughs nervously- Come on, Haku… that's your cue to come onstage…

Haku: Oh… yeah… -walks onstage, waving-

The audience applauds very loudly. Several fangirls in the front swoon. Many faint.

Fangirls: **We love you Haku!!!**

Haku: -sits down; apparently doesn't hear them-

Fireruby: ^^; Welcome to the show, Haku.

Haku: …Thanks.

Fireruby: -seriously- You're very hot, you know.

Haku: Actually, I've been told that many times before.

Fireruby: I'm not surprised. If it wasn't for my recent obsession with Seijuro Hiko, I might get a bishie crush on you… But, as it is… I hope you won't be let down if I don't swoon or anything… like those fangirls upfront.

Haku: Whatever…

Fireruby: Anywho… maybe we should start on the questions now?

Haku: Alright.

Fireruby: 'Kay. The first two questions are from WatcherofDarkness. They want to know: "Haku do you love Chiro or are you two just friends?"

Haku: Chihiro? Erm… well… um… heh… I _do_ love Chihiro… but… I'm not sure that we're any more then friends because of it…

Fireruby: -sigh- I know how it is… I love Hiko, but does that make us any more then s fan and an idol bishie? No…

Akemi: oo; I'd like to relate to you guys, but my crush is mutual.

Fireruby: -.- So is his.

Haku: Huh?

Fireruby: Anyway, last question from WatcherofDarkness: "As a river spirt aren't you kinda immortal meaning your not bound by the limits of age and she'd die long before you unless you interfered?"

Haku: "she"?

Fireruby: Chihiro.

Haku: Oh… I suppose that's right… but as I spirit, I do have certain abilities… If I can't make Chihiro live forever with me, then I can at least extend her life a few thousand years…

Fireruby: I think that's what they meant by "unless you interfered."

Haku: Oh. Yes, then.

Fireruby: ^^ 'Kay. Next question. This one's from SpicyHollyElf. "Do you always remember girls by what shoes they lost?"

Haku: …huh?

Fireruby: She's talking about when you suddenly remembered Chihiro all because of her "little pink shoe"… It was very funny, actually… Of all the things to remember her by, it was her stupid shoe. Well… it could be worse; I guess… at least it wasn't her underwear.

Haku: -uncharacteristically blushes-

Fireruby: Anywho, answer the question.

Haku: …… No, I don't remember all girls by their shoes… Just Chihiro, I guess…

Fireruby: -sighs- Aww… true love by shoes…

Akemi: -rolls off the stage laughing-

Fireruby: Well… last question. "Do you have a crush on Chihiro?" –coughs- Well, after this episode of NYATS… I'd have to say that's already been answered. But, answer anyway, Haku. It's cute when you saw it.

Haku: -grumbles- Yes, I have a crush on Chihiro.

Fireruby&Akemi: ^__^ Aww… so kawaii…

Fangirls: Awww… what a shame…

Fireruby: -glances at her watch- We still have quite a bit of time left… We need some entertainment…

Akemi: I know! Let's have Haku transform into his hot dragon form!!!

Fireruby: ^^ GREAT idea!!!

Haku: Was that in my contract thing, too? I have to do what you say?

Fireruby&Akemi: Yes!! Now transform, please!!

Haku: -sighs and morphs into a huge white & green dragon- …………

The remainder of the fangirls faint.

Fireruby: -grins- Wowza. If Hiko could do that, then he'd be _totally_ perfect.

Akemi: I thought you said Hiko-san was **already** perfect…?

Fireruby: Oh, yeah… Well… he'd be better then perfect, then.

Akemi: …… -mutters to herself- It's impossible to be better then perfect……

Fireruby: Okay, Haku, you can morph back now!

Haku: -looks at her, suddenly smiling-

Fireruby: Er… I said, you can transform back into a human!!

Haku: -snaps at Fireruby, missing by less then an inch-

Fireruby: -noticing his HUGE teeth- 00;;;; O…M…G….

Akemi: 00;;

Haku: -grins a dragon-ish grin; his voice is deep, loud and mystical- _You forced me to transform and confess my undying love for Chihiro… and now you'll have to pay for it…_

Fireruby: -glances at Akemi- He didn't say "undying" before, did he?

Akemi: Nope. That's an improvement, if you ask me.

Haku: -growls-

Fireruby: Heh… -glances at camera- Tune in next time for a special Christmas/Kwanzaa/Hanukkah edition of NYATS… with Kagome from the show "Inuyasha"… I'm sorry for not using this suggestion earlier… I had a lot of guest suggestions, all of a sudden! Well… Er… till then! –sprints out of the studio as Haku tries to make another snap at her nose-

The screen fades back to black as Akemi glances at Haku, then runs behind Fireruby, out of the studio. Haku trails after them, taking his time, since he could easily snatch up both of them both any time he chose. 


	14. Pink Stuff and a Blushing Kagome

You see a pitch-black screen. Not too unusual, really. It's how Fireruby starts out _every_ stupid chapter of this fic. This time, however, the black doesn't really go away. It just fades away a little unto a bit of a grayish color. Through the shadows, you can almost make out the familiar shapes of the NYATS studio.

Fireruby: **HEY!!!** LIGHTS, PLEASE!!!!

Some Guy: Sorry!

The lights are immediately switched on, and you're shocked to see all the disgusting  shades of pink decorating the studio.

Fireruby: x_X Oh, come on, Rocky. It's not that bad!

Yes it is. It burns my eyes.

Fireruby: …… I'm sure it does…

Akemi: -walks on stage- oO; Um… Fire… what's with all the pink??

Fireruby: ^^ I've decided to forget my whole winter holiday idea. Instead I'm going to celebrate Valentine's Day with my viewers!!

Akemi: Eh… that's great and all, but… It's, um, not Valentine's Day.

Fireruby: ^^ Valentine's Day is an eternal celebration. I think we can celebrate it whenever we want!

Akemi: Um…… why not?

Fireruby: Exactly! Best of all, though, is my guest for this episode.

Akemi: … Why's that so exciting? You've already announced who it'll be?

Fireruby: ……… x_x You really do know how to spoil someone's good mood.

Akemi: Sorry…

Fireruby: -sighs- Okay, okay… today's guest is Kagome Higurashi!

A loud sigh is heard as Kagome trudges onto the stage, giving an unenthusiastic wave to the audience cheering for her.

Kagome: -sits down on the couch provided for her-

Fireruby: oO Um… try not to act too happy to be here…

Akemi: She's not acting happy at all, though.

Fireruby: Thank you, Captain Obvious…. Kagome, why so down?

Kagome: I've been waiting to come on this show for months now!! It's a little tiring having to wait so long.

Fireruby: ._. Sorry.

Kagome: … It's okay…… I'll perk up. ^^

Fireruby: n_n Good to hear!

Akemi: -seats herself on the edge of the stage, careful not to sit on too many of the pink decorations- So, what're the questions?

Fireruby: Well… we have a lot of them this time… I'll start with some from astro-24.

Kagome: Okay.

Fireruby: Okay! First question is… "Do you think kikyo is a bit-I mean a meanie?"

Kagome: Well… she is kinda rude sometimes… I'm still not too sure why Inuyasha's still so hung up on her, really…

Akemi: -grins- Good answer. No one else really knows why either.

Fireruby: Heh. Next question is: "Family wise how do you think of inuyasha,sango(She is the BEST!),shippou, and miroku?"

Kagome: Family wise, huh? Well… Sango's a lot like an older sister to me… And Shippou is like having another little brother. Miroku is like… an uncle, I guess. Wise sometimes… but usually creeping me out.

Fireruby: And Inuyasha…?

Kagome: ………………… I dunno.

Akemi: -tries to keep from giggling by distracting herself with one of the heart decorations reading "Love Forever"-

Fireruby: -smiles- Okay, okay… I won't make you answer that one, then…

Akemi: O_O … -gives her a look-

Fireruby: … But only because we have so many more questions like it to go through…

Kagome: O… kay?

Fireruby: ^^ M'kay… So… Our last question from astro is this; "Does your mum know you love inu-chan??"

Kagome: -blushes- Love… Inuyasha?? What…. Why would you think that? Does my mom think that?? Does _everyone_ think that??!! O_O

Akemi: -bursts out laughing-

Fireruby: -stifles her laughter with difficulty- Astro, I _think_ that what she meant was "no"… Though… I beg to differ…

Kagome: O_O

Fireruby: Hehe… but we'll go onto the next set of questions before Kagome has a heart attack or something.

Kagome: o_o

Fireruby: So… the next few questions are from Time's mortal enemy… ^^ To whom I'd like to say a quick "hi". But, anyway… His first question is… "Just how much DO you hate watching Kikyo and Inu kiss?"

Kagome: -recovers from the spaz attack- Wow… Someone's actually asking me this…

Fireruby: Yep. What's your reply?

Kagome: =_= Frankly, I think it's disgusting. Kikyo's always tricking and playing around with Inuyasha, and that jerk falls for it every time. I wish, for once, he'd think with his head, and not his—

Fireruby: ^^; Okay! Next question is: "What would you do if you COULDN'T control Inu with sit?"

Akemi: She does use that command a lot, doesn't she? I get the impression she likes her men well trained. ^_~

Kagome: -doesn't seem to hear- Well… If I couldn't use sit, I'd probably just smack him the old-fashioned way. He really does deserve it sometimes. Though, I'm not sure it'd phase him too much…

Fireruby: True enough. And… the last question from Time is: "How could you two live together? I mean, it's like Chihiro and Haku, he stays young while you get old." –sigh- That's true… Reality always seems to come between the most sweet of romances…

Kagome: -blushes- I guess… that if Inuyasha and I were to ever live together… I guess… he could become human… and that way we'd live and die together… I mean, _I_ could use the shikan jewel to become _demon_… but I'm not sure I'd like that. He probably wouldn't either.

Fireruby: Not a bad answer.

Akemi: … I'm starting to see the point of your ridiculous Valentines theme…

Fireruby: ^^;

Kagome: Point? I just thought she was being… different.

Fireruby: ^^;;; Next question!!! Er… wait… the next review is from Hedi Dracona… I don't see any questions….. but… O_O -suddenly receives her wonderful gifts of whistle and security guard- T-Thank you, Miss Hedi. And thanks for the suggestion about Karasu!! It's a wonderful idea. ^^

Kagome: Um………… _What_??

Fireruby: Oh, sorry… -pockets whistle and pets Touya- Please go wait over on the side of the stage, and Akemi and I will give you a most proper welcome after the show.

Touya: -stares at her a moment, then trudges over to the side of the stage, his way-too-large security outfit dragging a little-

Akemi: -watches him- O_O

Fireruby: Well, sorry to keep y'all waiting… Now I'll read the next question… Which is also the last question… -sigh-

Kagome: Last one already?

Fireruby: Hey! We got a lot! You should be glad you're so popular!

Kagome: Okay…

Fireruby: Last question is… "if you had to choose between inuyasha and koga, who would you choose?"

Kagome: Choose? Choose what?

Akemi: …. -still staring at Touya- O_O

Fireruby: Um… who would you rather, like… date?

Kagome: -blushes again- W-well… that'd depend…

Fireruby: Depend on what?

Kagome: ………………… It'd be Inuyasha, okay??

Fireruby: ^_^ Okay!! Inu – one, Koga- **ZERO**!!!

Kagome: ……… So, that's it? I can go home now?

Fireruby: Um… I guess. Usually we end the show with something really stupid, but… er… Akemi, why are you so quiet? Why aren't you helping me start something stupid? And… why do you keep looking at Touya?

Akemi: -sighs- That _hair_… that body… that walk… that _hair_… those eyes… and did I mention _the hair_?? I think_ I'm in love_.

Fireruby: O_O;

Touya: O___O

Kagome: oo;;

Akemi: ………… what's with the looks?

Fireruby: ^^;; That's it for now, everyone. Tune in next time to see… hm… Karasu, I guess. Thank you for the suggestion, Miss Hedi. Oh, and _much_ thanks goes to Princess Missa for seriously scaring me into updating again with her weird smileys and threatening words. ^^;; Much love to you.

The screen fades as Fireruby and Akemi stand up and hurry over to welcome Touya to the NYATS crew, while Touya inches away from Akemi, and Kagome rushes out of the room, eyes wide and looking more then happy to finally leave.


	15. What's Orange, Pink and Karasu All Over?

This episode is going to start off with a plain black screen.

.

You're shocked, right?

.

I knew you would be.

.

The black gradually fades out of the picture, and is replaced by the contrastingly bright NYATS studio. And, of course, your perky host is sitting in front of the camera, ready to greet you.

.

Fireruby: Well, "perky" is a lot better then "ditzy" I suppose.

.

Akemi is seated on the edge of the stage, trying to look at the camera, but occasionally sneaking a lovesick-glance at Touya, who's standing a few feet behind her, watching over the crew and squirming in his extra-large security garb.

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Akemi: -glares at thin air- You're mean! I'm not love**_sick_**! I'm just love**_ly_**! –winks at Touya-

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Touya: xx;

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All: -sweatdrop-

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Fireruby: Heh... well… anyway… Before we officially start the show today, I have a few important announcements…

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Akemi: -suddenly stands up, sings, and starts to twirl around- Announcements, announcements, _annouuuuucements_! I'd rather be watching a mime! –claps- Announcements aren't sublime! –claps- A terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible, terrible waste of time! –sits back down-

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Fireruby: ..... Random…..

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All: oo

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Touya: …… I'm _so_ turned on… (-**sarcasm**-)

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Fireruby: -blinks- STOP THE RANDOMNESS!!! –clears throat- I have announcements to announce. _Goodness_, people!

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Akemi&Touya: -roll eyes simultaneously-

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Audience: Awwww…

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Fireruby: Okay, okay! My first announcement is… As you can see, we now have a new member to the NYATS crew. Technically, he was first placed on the show last episode... but we're making it official now. Won't you give Touya a proper welcome?

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The audience breaks into applause. A few of the fangirls upfront give him a standing ovation. However, most of them are too weak in the knees to make an attempt.

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Fireruby: -points to Touya- Thanks to Miss Hedi, he'll be our new security guard.

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???: …It's rude to point, you know.

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Fireruby: -stops pointing- Hehe... Oops.

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Akemi: oO Fire… who's that?

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Fireruby: Ah, that was going to be my second announcement. This is Brian. He goes by "Time's Mortal Enemy", though… So I'm gonna nickname him Time. Anyways, Time here is a fan of the show… and when I heard he was looking for work, I couldn't turn him down. So, please welcome NYAT's _other_ newest crewmember, Time!

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Time: -sweatdrop- Heh…

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Audience: -claps for him-

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Random Audience Member 1: oo Wow. Fireruby's actually hiring people on her show. _Sane_ people, nonetheless.

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Random Audience Member 2: Tell me about it. I'm going into shock!

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Akemi: -stands up and shakes Time's hand- Nice to meet ya!

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Time: Um… Likewise.

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Fireruby: Good to see you guys are already getting along. Time, by the way, is going to be doing our lighting, mostly.

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Maybe we'll get lucky and he'll dim the center stage.

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Fireruby: …… But, center stage is where _I_ sit.

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I know.

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Fireruby: -.-;;

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Akemi: So… does this mark the end of your announcements, Fire?

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Fireruby: Yep. Guess I should bring out my guest now…

.

Akemi: Might not be a bad idea.

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Time: -walks off somewhere backstage-

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Fireruby: M'kay… So, today's guest is……

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Akemi: Dun dun dun _dun!_

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Fireruby: .......Karasu from Yu Yu Hakusho!

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As Karasu walks onto the stage, the NYATs lights start to flash on and off… strongly resembling lightning.

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All: ……… –scared-

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Karasu: oO

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The "lightning" stops. Loud laughter is heard echoing through the backstage area.

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Akemi: I guess having a light man comes in handy…

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Fireruby: -can't stop laughing- XD I could get used to this!!

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Karasu: …… It wasn't _that_ funny…

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Touya: -eyes Karasu-

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Karasu: … Not that I'm getting upset or anything…

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Akemi: -sits down right in front of Touya, and leans back against him- Please protect me from the bomb man, Touya. I'm weak, and fragile…

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Touya: Um…

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Karasu: -snickers-

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Fireruby: M'kay… So… what do you say we start the questions?

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All: -nod-

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Fireruby: Great. Okay… Ready, Karasu?

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Karasu: I'm ready for anything.

.

Fireruby: Cool. Okay, so… First few questions are from Hedi Dracona. First one is, "Why do you act so. . . . perverted. . . . around Kurama?"

.

Karasu: Um…

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Fireruby: Don't know?

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Karasu: -shrugs- I act how I think.

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Fireruby: Perversely?

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Karasu: If that's what you want to call it, then yes.

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Akemi: He's so honest… -pokes Touya- Why can't **_you_** be all honest and perverted?

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Touya: Ano… um…… You…. want me to be perverted? oO

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Akemi: I wouldn't mind.

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Fireruby: -sweatdrop-

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Karasu: What's the next question? Is the next one gonna be about Kurama, too??

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Fireruby: -shifty eyes- Maybe…

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Karasu: Read it!

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Fireruby: Okay… Next question is, "Well, I read a lot of fanfictions with one-sided Karasu/Kurama yaoi, and I was wondering. . . . Would you ever actually do any of those unspeakable things to Kurama?"

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Karasu: Hmm… what is "fanfiction"?

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Fireruby: Bah… -digs through her tiny blue purse- Oh, here's some fanfiction with you in it, Karasu! –gives it to him-

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Karasu: -reads the fanfiction- …… -continues to read- …… -grins- ……

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All: -sweatdrop-

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Time: -appears back onstage; yawns-

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Karasu: -flips to the next page, grinning and chuckling a little-

.

Fireruby: -snatches the fanfic away- Okay, okay. Hedi, I'm _guessing_ that's a yes…

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Karasu: -still chuckling-

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Akemi: What's the next question, Fire?

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Fireruby: Um… okay, next question is: "If Kurama got a restrianing order on you, would you care?"

.

Touya: You need to ask?

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Karasu: Ha… restraining order? What would they do if I ignored it??

.

Fireruby: ……… Throw you in jail?

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Akemi: Or they could shoot him.

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Karasu: Ha!! I'd like to see them try.

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Touya: Me too.

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Karasu: -.-

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Fireruby: C'mon, guys. Try and get along. Um… this next question might be a little hard to explain…… Rocky, can you do a scene excerpt for me?

.

…. Sure.

.

The NYATS studio fades off screen. A shot of Fireruby's review board appears in it's place. Two figures stand together, a guy and a girl. Nearby, whimpering sounds come out of a closet.

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Kurama: -hiding in the closet, hoping that Karasu won't find him- Hedi, is it safe to come out now?

.

Hedi: -evil grin- Why yes. Yes, it is.

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Kurama: -comes out of closet- -spots Karasu- -whimpers- -slowly backs into the closet again- I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU HEDI!!

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Hedi: You thought wrong, fox-boy! NOW GET OUT OF MY CLOSET!! -forcibly drags a kicking and screaming Kurama out of the closet- There are confidential GIRL things in there, and you're not a girl!! -pauses- At least I hope not.

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Karasu: Want me to check?

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Kurama: -freaks out- -cowers behind one of Hedi's dragon wings, watching Karasu warily-

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Hedi: -eye twitch- -pulls out Communication Mirror and dials up Kuronue- Kuronue, Could you get over here? Kurama is having a nervous breakdown.

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Kuronue: -falls into room through a plothole-

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Kurama: -spots Kuronue- KURONUE!! glomps-

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Kuronue: -blinks- Um. . . . Hello to you too, fox.

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Hedi: OOH! I've got another question for Karasu! Are you jealous of Kuronue right now?

.

The screen goes back to the NYATS studio.

.

Karasu: …..

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Fireruby: Well?

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Karasu: Can I see that fic again…?

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Fireruby: oO Sure. –gives him back the Karasu/Kurama YAOI-

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Karasu: -scans over the first page; hands it back to Fireruby- Nope. I'm honestly not jealous.

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All: -sweatdrop-

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Akemi: What's _in_ that fic, anyway??

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Fireruby: Take a wild guess…..

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All: …………………….

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Fireruby: Um… time for the next question…

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Time: The next one is mine.

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Fireruby: Oh. You wanna ask it?

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Time: Sure.

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Fireruby: Okay… well, go ahead, then.

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Time: -glances over at Karasu- oO Okay… what's with all the black? Why on _earth_ do you just wear black? And that tattered cape thingy? What's up with that?

.

Akemi: …. I gotta agree. All black doesn't look great on you… You're so pale… It's scary. oo

.

Karasu: Um… well……

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Touya: Haven't we already established that he has some… abnormal quirks? Maybe creepy clothing is one of them.

.

Fireruby: Heh...

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Karasu: That's not it!! It's not my fault I have to wear this bad clothing!!! Toguro makes me wear these awful blacks!!

.

All: ……………..

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Fireruby: oO ……… Why?

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Karasu: -sniff- I don't know. I guess he's trying to stifle my creativity. There was certainly nothing wrong with how I was dressing before.

.

Akemi: Dare I ask…?

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Time: …. How were you dressing before?

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Karasu: In lovely shades of orange and pink, of course.

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All: Heh heh.... -sweatdrop-

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Akemi: Heh….

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Time: oO Not all that surprising, really…

.

Touya: oo _I_ didn't see that one coming…

.

Fireruby: Heh… okay, okay, everyone. There's no more questions, so it's probably about time I wrapped up this episode of NYATS. On one final note… I'm going to take this chance to apologize to Persephone's-Child. Unfortunately… I've never seen an episode of Princess Mononoke. Sorry. Also… Koneko, "uber" is very much a word! OO It's… it's… 70's!!

.

Time: That's it?

.

Fireruby: I guess…

.

Time: Okay… -walks off stage-

.

Fireruby: Okay… Well, that's all for now, folks. Tune in next time to see guest stars, Misao and Aoshi!

.

Akemi: Um… yay. –stands up and drags Touya offstage-

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Touya: OO W-where are you taking me?? Boss, do something!!!

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Fireruby: Sorry, Touya. It's not like I have any power over her.

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Touya: Traitor! –is dragged off-

.

The screen fades to black as Fireruby walks offstage, instructing Karasu to follow her because she has someone special waiting backstage for him. Karasu seems to have no doubts about which red haired fox-demon it is.

.

(A/N- What the heck has ff.net done??? -wails- I can't use symbols anymore!! A-and... It won't let me double space!!! I have to use these horrible periods to seperate paragraphs!!! -sob- What is the world coming to??)


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